Seeing all the ladies, including the Marchioness of Changxing, smiling and surrounding Dou Zhao, the elderly Mrs. Lu thought of Jiang Yan and glanced around the crowd, but didn’t see her.
She quietly asked Ruoying, who was serving her tea, “Why don’t I see Miss Jiang?”
Ruoying smiled and replied, “Miss Jiang was here just a moment ago. She must have stepped away for something.” She craned her neck to look around but still didn’t see Jiang Yan. She then asked, “Would you like me to go look for Miss Jiang, Madam?”
It was crowded and noisy; perhaps Jiang Yan had gone somewhere else.
The elderly Mrs. Lu smiled and said, “No need. I was just asking.”
As soon as she finished speaking, the fifth and sixth ladies of the Dou family approached with smiles.
The elderly Mrs. Lu put the matter out of her mind and began exchanging pleasantries with the fifth and sixth ladies of the Dou family.
Jiang Lizhu, standing beside the elderly Mrs. Lu, took note of this.
She hadn’t seen Jiang Yan for a while and couldn’t help but worry. She asked several maids, but they all said they hadn’t seen her. After some thought, she quietly went to Bishui Pavilion.
Jiang Yan was sitting on the large kang bed by the window, doing embroidery. Seeing Jiang Lizhu visit, she felt embarrassed and said, “I saw that everything was well-prepared on your side, and there was nothing for me to help with. I’m also quite shy, and when there are many people, I become tongue-tied. I was afraid of embarrassing my brother and sister-in-law, so I hid here.”
Jiang Lizhu couldn’t help but sigh.
It was fortunate that the Song family had few descendants, and the collateral branches had long since separated. Otherwise, with all the aunts and uncles, given Jiang Yan’s personality, she might have been eaten alive.
She advised, “How many people are born without shyness? Once you meet more people, you’ll naturally become more comfortable. You don’t know, but the elderly Mrs. Lu was just asking about you!”
Jiang Yan lowered her head, her needle flying, but remained silent.
Their relationship wasn’t deep enough for Jiang Lizhu to press further, so she stood up to take her leave.
Jiang Yan liked Jiang Lizhu very much. Seeing the disappointment on her face, she became anxious and pulled at Jiang Lizhu’s sleeve, saying, “Sister-in-law, you’re too kind to me. I’m not ungrateful, it’s just that they all like to stare at me, and I… I… I’m someone who shouldn’t be seen in public… My brother and sister-in-law are such good people, yet they’re burdened because of me…”
Jiang Lizhu was stunned for a moment, then suddenly understood.
Jiang Yan was afraid that if others knew about her experience, they would look down on her and bring shame to Song Mo and Dou Zhao.
Jiang Lizhu thought of the humiliation and resentment she felt when faced with others’ criticism after the Jiang family’s downfall, unable to defend herself. Thinking of Jiang Yan’s experience, her heart softened. Looking at Jiang Yan again, she felt a sense of closeness born from shared suffering. She said, “Don’t mind them. Those people are just curious. When something new happens in the capital, they’ll naturally go on to gossip about other things.”
Jiang Yan’s heart was filled with bitterness. Jiang Lizhu’s sincere words touched the sorrow in her heart, and she couldn’t help but pour out her feelings: “My situation is different from others. They can talk about it for decades. I’m a useless person, living in shame… I just want to find a place where no one knows me to live out the rest of my life…” As she spoke, her eyes became moist.
Having experienced her family’s misfortune, Jiang Lizhu had more experience than ordinary women and was more touched by Jiang Yan’s words. She couldn’t help but shed tears as well.
Seeing this, Jiang Yan felt extremely guilty and quickly took out a handkerchief to wipe Jiang Lizhu’s tears, saying, “Look at me, talking nonsense and making you upset too.”
Jiang Lizhu quickly grasped Jiang Yan’s hand and said, “Don’t say that. We’re cousins after all.”
What was originally just a polite phrase now carried a faint warmth.
The two women couldn’t help but smile at each other, which somewhat diluted their earlier sadness.
Jiang Lizhu knew that the past had become a knot in Jiang Yan’s heart. She wanted to tell her about the fate of the Wei and He families, but remembering that Jiang Yan didn’t even harbor resentment towards Li Yao Niang who had harmed her, she swallowed her words and changed her approach to comfort Jiang Yan: “You’re overthinking some things. Since Cousin has brought you into the family, he will consider everything thoroughly for you. Wei Li from Qingyuan County disappeared around the Lantern Festival, but Miss Jiang of Duke Ying’s family is the niece most beloved by the late Duchess. You should feel at ease living in the Song family. Even if others stare at you, it’s because you look exactly like your aunt, not for any other reason.”
However, Jiang Yan was more sensitive than she imagined and said, “These are just words to comfort oneself. I look exactly like Madam Jiang, and now everyone is saying that I’m Madam Jiang’s daughter and Song Han was adopted from outside. There are no secrets that can be kept forever; they will find out who I am one day.”
At that time, some might pity her, but wouldn’t more people mock and despise her?
Jiang Lizhu sighed.
Jiang Yan then said, “Today is Young Master Yuan’s special day. Sister, please go enjoy the banquet and the opera. Don’t let my issues spoil the mood. If anyone asks about me, please help cover for me – I’m afraid my sister-in-law will worry if she can’t find me, and I don’t want to cause her trouble.”
Jiang Lizhu could only nod and say, “In a few days, when everyone is free, I’ll come to see you again.”
Jiang Yan saw Jiang Lizhu off at the entrance of Bishui Pavilion.
Jiang Lizhu went to the flower hall.
Jiang Yan looked at the beautiful pavilions and buildings of Bishui Pavilion, suddenly feeling a dreamlike unreality.
She didn’t want to return to Bishui Pavilion, so she parted the flowers and willows and took a small path paved with pebbles outside Bishui Pavilion.
Yinghong didn’t dare to stop her and silently followed behind.
Walking aimlessly like this, Jiang Yan didn’t know where she had gone, but her feet began to hurt.
She looked around and saw an empty pavilion not far away. She turned and walked towards it.
A young man of about fifteen or sixteen came walking along the path ahead. He was wearing a light purple fine cloth Taoist robe and wasn’t a servant accustomed to walking in the inner courtyard.
Yinghong was startled and shouted, “Where did this fool come from? This is the inner courtyard of Duke Ying’s mansion. Quickly leave!”
The young man was frightened and turned to run away.
Jiang Yan had sharp eyes and recognized the young man as Huzi, who was close to Chen Jia.
She couldn’t help but call out, “Huzi, why are you here?”
The young man turned around, saw it was Jiang Yan, and looked relieved. He hurried forward to bow and said, “I came with my master to congratulate the young master on the birth of his son. My master is drinking with several officials from Shen Ji Ying and Wu Jun Ying in the flower hall of the outer courtyard. I had nothing to do, so I was chatting with some people around Brother Wuyi.
The young master ordered Steward Peng to bring some strong liquor, and Steward Peng told them to move the wine. I thought since I was free anyway, I might as well help out. Before we finished moving the wine, a message came from the inner courtyard’s housekeeper, saying that Miss Ruozhu from the lady’s side wanted a few more jars of the imperial-bestowed pear blossom white wine. I volunteered to go to the accounting room to help Steward Peng get the keys, but I got lost!”
Jiang Yan couldn’t help but laugh and said, “Why didn’t you ask someone where the accounting room was?”
After Chen Jia found her, Huzi carefully served and accompanied her into the capital. Seeing Huzi again, she felt very close to him and thus spoke quite casually.
Huzi grinned foolishly.
Yinghong, however, understood in her heart.
Most likely, the servants of the mansion couldn’t stand seeing Huzi showing off, so they deliberately gave him the wrong directions.