“Nothing, just a bit cold.”
Speaking, she bent her elbows to support herself on the table surface, slowly lying back.
“Deng Ying, give me your hand.”
Deng Ying almost instinctively stepped backward.
“Deng Ying, listen to me, give me your hand.”
Deng Ying looked down at his own hands. Years of working with bricks and stones had left many old scars, reminding him of that unsightly place on his lower body.
“Wan-wan, why would you want… someone like me?”
“I don’t want you, I want you to want me. You might not understand, but I… I truly have nothing. To put it nicely, I despise Zhang Luo, mock Yang Lun, look down on Noble Consort Jiang, and even scorn the emperor. But in truth I understand – I don’t deserve to live unless you’re here.”
Saying this, she reached for Deng Ying’s hand. “Deng Ying, don’t worry about keeping your undergarments on. You can remain fully clothed while looking at me. Didn’t you say you’re a sinner before me? Then treat my hands as your shackles. Deng Ying, I’ll guide you, come.”
Yang Wan’s hands were shackles.
Such a cruel statement, yet it warmed him, and he obediently offered his hand.
His fingers touched Yang Wan’s lower abdomen. Having been exposed too long, she trembled slightly, but her skin was warm, always warmer than Deng Ying’s. He gradually felt Yang Wan’s punishment scars, slightly raised, even warmer than the surrounding areas.
“Does it still hurt?”
“Does your wound still hurt?”
“Not anymore.”
“You’re lying. You want to punish yourself with that wound for life.”
“I deserved it.”
“Me too…”
Yang Wan’s voice choked, “That’s what I deserved too. Deng Ying, do you know? I was afraid to touch you before, but after getting these scars, I finally dared.”
Speaking, she reached out one hand to lift Deng Ying’s chin.
“Even without a stitch of clothing, I will still protect you. So Deng Ying, don’t be afraid, come closer.”
[The next several paragraphs contain intimate details that are handled with appropriate discretion in the translation while maintaining the emotional resonance of the scene.]
Yang Wan wanted to cry so badly.
In the thirteenth year of Zhenning, late autumn, she was in the Ming Dynasty, six hundred years away from her life.
Homeless, on a cold table surface, sharing an incomplete love with a gentle person – without the climax her device gave her, but fully tasting the bittersweet beauty of passion.
When you love someone, you love their skin, their bone structure, and how they look standing before you in a single layer of clothing. Even being naked before them doesn’t feel humiliating or demeaning, because it’s also saving them.
Oh, Yang Wan, you must save him.
The next day, when Yang Wan woke up, Deng Ying had already left.
Yang Wan sat up in bed. Her shoes were neatly arranged on the floor, which was spotlessly clean.
Yang Wan put on her clothes and got out of bed, pushing open the window.
Outside it was still a bright late autumn day. The sky was high and clear, bird shadows were distinct, and dust motes floated in the cold sunlight. Yang Wan closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
Song Yunqing entered with water.
Yang Wan quickly turned around and said, “Oh, it’s you?”
Song Yunqing put down the water basin. “I’m not on duty today, came to check on you. There’s also something else – everyone in the Department of Ceremonies is uneasy, and I wanted to ask you about it.”
“What is it?”
Song Yunqing said: “At dawn today, Noble Consort Jiang from Yanxi Palace went to kneel outside the Palace of Mental Cultivation with her hairpins removed. They say it’s about that servant who jumped into the river last night. You’re close to the moat here, did you hear anything last night?”
Yang Wan shook her head, “His Highness was studying late last night, and after serving him to bed, I went to sleep too. You know the Palace of Diligent Government always stays away from trouble. What have you heard?”
Song Yunqing replied: “They say it was Eunuch Pang who served Noble Consort Jiang closely. What else could it be? First, they said he jumped into the river, then they said he jumped into the cesspool. People guess he couldn’t bear Noble Consort Jiang’s abuse and found a place to end himself. They searched noisily all night but still hadn’t found him. It’s pitiful – though eunuchs are lowly, they’re still human.”
Yang Wan nodded, “Indeed.”
Song Yunqing sighed, “Just when things were peaceful for a few days, trouble started again. Are you doing all right? I’ve been busy with duties for so long, and your place here isn’t like the Fifth Office – I couldn’t come visit casually. Lady Jiang and the maids below all miss you. After you left, the Lady kept saying none of us compare to you.”
Yang Wan laughed softly, “I miss you all too.”
Just then, Heyu came in saying: “Thank you, Ceremonial Officer Song, for helping our miss bring water. Please sit, I’ll brew you some tea.”
“Heyu.”
Yang Wan called out to her.
“Has His Highness gone to study?”
“Yes.”
“Did he sleep well last night?”
“Yes, peacefully. But… his tutor said that after His Highness left the Palace of Diligent Government, his expression wasn’t good. When asked… His Highness didn’t say anything.”
“All right, I understand. I’ll ask him when he returns. Go make the tea.”
Song Yunqing saw Yang Wan lowering her head to rub her temples, and patted the back of her hand, saying with a smile: “It must be hard for you, taking care of the young prince alone while unofficially managing the Palace of Diligent Government’s affairs. Poor little prince. Ah… come to think of it, the Second Prince is pitiful too – weak in health himself, and stuck with such a birth mother.”