In the end, Yang Wan didn’t press Deng Ying for answers.
They ate together, and Deng Ying heated bath water for Yang Wan, who soaked alone in the tub for a long time.
When she came out, Deng Ying’s face was still red.
Yang Wan didn’t say anything, just sat with Deng Ying on the bed.
After her bath, she had removed her outer garments, wearing only her undergarments, comfortably wrapped in the bedding.
Deng Ying, however, still wore his official robes due to his restraints. He refused to remove his shoes, sitting perfectly straight at the edge of the bed. Yang Wan hugged her knees and leaned against his shoulder, resting quietly with closed eyes. Outside, the rain grew heavier, knocking against the windows with a cold sound.
Yet the colder it got outside, the warmer the charcoal fire felt inside, and the softer the bedding seemed.
Though the humble room was narrow, it was enough for Yang Wan to curl up in.
Yang Wan thought of a Japanese anime – “Weathering with You.”
In the rain outside, the protagonists fled from pursuing police, unable to afford a cheap inn, so they spent all their money to stay in a warm luxury hotel instead.
Bathing, eating, singing karaoke…
The colorful bath lights in the tub, chicken pieces in the fridge, fried noodles, and curry. When the girl’s brother asked what to eat, the boy said to eat it all, so the brother called out to his sister in the bath, “Tonight’s dinner is very rich!” The sister laughed and replied that she looked forward to it.
They played until very late, trying to experience every bit of warmth the hotel had to offer.
They didn’t want to sleep, as if staying awake would keep the warmth from cooling and tomorrow from coming.
Yang Wan felt the same way now.
She hoped the rain outside wouldn’t stop, trying to hold onto every moment of feeling, though she knew clearly that time was constantly slipping away.
“Deng Ying.”
“Yes?”
“Should we… do something?”
As soon as she asked this, Deng Ying’s body stiffened.
Yang Wan leaned against him and laughed softly, “Let’s apply the medicine.”
She crawled out from under the covers, kneeling on the bed to reach for the ointment at the bedhead.
Deng Ying watched her arched back, her undergarments clinging to her spine as she moved.
Her slightly curled toes touched against his leg, and worried she might be cold, he hurriedly covered her feet with his sleeve.
“What are you getting? Let me get it, you just bathed, you need to stay warm.”
Yang Wan turned back with a smile, “I brought several kinds of medicine, you wouldn’t know which one to get. Let me find them and apply some on you first, then I need to put some on myself too.”
She gathered the various bottles and jars onto the bed, bent her knees to support Deng Ying, and carefully applied medicine for him on the lamplight, checking his feet as she went.
“There’s medicine for your feet too, take off your shoes.”
Deng Ying removed his shoes and socks, slowly lifting his legs onto the bed.
The remaining chains hung down from the bed, swaying gently, clinking against the wooden frame with a lonely sound.
Embarrassed, he tried to hold them still with his hand, unconsciously tucking his feet under his robe.
Yang Wan didn’t look away from these movements, only saying softly, “How absurd.”
“What?”
Yang Wan held his wrist, speaking quietly: “You know, and this dynasty, it’s all so absurd.”
She pressed her lips together before continuing: “These restraints aren’t meant to bind a criminal, they’re meant to humiliate you, to put on a show of ‘justice’ for the emperor, to display before the entire court.”
Deng Ying relaxed his fingers, “I’m fine…”
Yang Wan interrupted him: “How can you be fine? You’ve always had words you couldn’t say.”
This was a double-meaning statement.
Deng Ying removed his wrist from Yang Wan’s knee.
They sat facing each other on the bed, both hugging their knees and Deng Ying coughed softly.
“As one awaiting punishment, I am unclean. How could I say… inappropriate things to Wanwan?”
“If you think it’s inappropriate, why did you learn it?”
Deng Ying pressed his lips together, “I couldn’t help myself…”
After speaking, he coughed several times, placing both hands in Yang Wan’s, “I’m afraid of hurting you, of making you uncomfortable. I’m afraid that in the future when you’re no longer willing to hold my hands and teach me, I won’t know how to make you…”
“Silly, who taught you? What did they teach you?”
Deng Ying gently turned aside to avoid Yang Wan’s gaze.
Who could he learn from? The people in the Ceremonial Office would visit brothels and temples, wandering women served the eunuchs outside South Lake, and the office would gather to discuss how to please women. Deng Ying had heard much, and thinking of Yang Wan’s body, he wished he could lock his hands away forever.
Until he happened to find a book in Chen Hua’s room in the Mixed Hall Office.
It was a forbidden palace book that Chen Hua had always hidden carefully, but one night, drunk, he had left it openly on his desk after reading it, where Deng Ying had picked it up while visiting on business.
Chen Hua was terrified, immediately falling to his knees before Deng Ying, trembling all over.