His body gradually grew sticky with sweat, and Yang Wan’s movements slowed accordingly, finally closing her five fingers between his legs.
But she didn’t immediately withdraw her hand, instead letting it rest there quietly, waiting for Deng Ying to calm down.
She seemed to grow tired of supporting herself, and simply lay down, resting her head on Deng Ying’s body. Her soft long hair cascaded across his chest, bringing inexplicable warmth wherever it touched.
“Tell me when you feel better.”
Deng Ying lowered his head to look at Yang Wan’s face.
The soft lamplight fell across her face; her cheeks were slightly flushed, her eyes glistening with moisture. He couldn’t help but reach out to stroke her hair. Yang Wan’s shoulders trembled, but her back softened, allowing Deng Ying’s trembling hand to caress the back of her head.
“Deng Ying.”
“Yes?”
“You told me before that you feel pain, right?”
“Yes.”
“Was it better this time?”
Deng Ying shook his head, “Don’t worry about me, Wan-wan. From now on, let me do it, alright?”
“You’re domineering.”
She gently withdrew her hand as she spoke, laying it flat on Deng Ying’s lower abdomen.
Deng Ying remained silent, slowly propping himself up to sit, supporting Yang Wan’s body to lay her on her side. He dressed himself and got out of bed.
Yang Wan was somewhat tired, her clothes damp with sweat. She coughed once, “Where are you going?”
“To fetch water.”
He walked out behind the screen wearing his slippers.
Yang Wan listened to Deng Ying’s pat-pat footsteps, her eyelids growing heavy. She closed her eyes, and in her drowsy state, someone gently took her hand from under the covers and placed it on their knee. A warm cloth wrapped around her fingers.
Yang Wan forced her eyes open to see Deng Ying crouching beside the bed, head lowered, carefully wiping her fingers one by one.
“You’re not dirty.”
“You’ll feel more comfortable when clean.”
“You’re still foolish.”
“Wan-wan.”
“Hmm?”
Deng Ying paused his movements and looked up at Yang Wan.
“Why won’t you let me use my mouth…”
“Would you want me to use mine?”
“If I let you do that, I would rather die by lingchi.”
“Deng Ying.”
Yang Wan turned her hand to tap the back of his, “Don’t say such things.”
“I’m sorry.”
Yang Wan pulled him to sit on the edge of the bed. “I would enjoy you doing that too, it’s just…”
She looked up at Deng Ying sitting in the lamplight, “It’s just that I can’t bear to let the person I’ll love all my life act foolishly when he doesn’t understand anything himself.”
Deng Ying lowered his head, “Wan-wan, I do understand.”
“Just from reading those few pages of books, you understand?”
“I also asked…”
“Chen Hua?”
“Yes.”
“He’s simple-minded too, what did you two discuss?”
Deng Ying fell silent.
Yang Wan turned to lie on her back, “Healing the wounds in your heart is an extremely difficult thing. I’m not very good at it either, so just be obedient and don’t make it harder for me, alright?”
Deng Ying didn’t fully understand these words, but still agreed: “Alright.”
Yang Wan hugged Deng Ying’s arm hanging by his leg.
“When you stop reading those messy books, I’ll let you do it.”
“I’ve already stopped reading them.”
“But you’re still thinking about it.”
“Yes.”
He paused, then softly admitted: “It’s me, it’s me who wants to do those things like they do, I want you to be happy, Wan-wan.”
Yang Wan smiled, “If you live more freely, I’ll become happy along with you, Deng Ying. Though I’ll manage you for life, I hope what I give you isn’t pity for a servant. I…”