Yang Wan felt that his mention of “skin” was too visceral as if his form would dissipate into ash before her eyes at any moment. Her heart ached, and almost without thinking, she bent down and pulled him firmly into her embrace.
Deng Ying, caught off guard by her sudden movement, quickly placed one hand on the steps to steady himself, while his other hand hung uncertainly in the air.
“Wan-wan, you…”
Yang Wan buried her face in his shoulder. “Don’t talk about skin or anything like that anymore.”
Deng Ying slowly relaxed his shoulders and tentatively placed his hand on her back. “Alright, I won’t speak of it. Don’t be like this.”
Yang Wan didn’t heed Deng Ying’s words and instead tightened her embrace around his waist.
Though he was tall, he had always been thin. Even wearing several layers of formal official robes, he still gave off an impression of frailty that revealed his bones. In Yang Wan’s former aesthetic preferences regarding men, “graceful bones” were undoubtedly the highest standard. But such men mostly existed on paper, where time and fate had worn away their skin to honestly reveal their bone structure. Readers only needed to sigh in appreciation, without bearing the burden of their real lives.
So that was merely an aesthetic preference.
That wasn’t love.
And above both love and aesthetic preference, there was something called “desire.”
It went beyond their current embrace, beyond even caresses behind closed doors. She wanted his thin skin pressed against her own, gently rubbing, exploring his bone structure in the endless night, until finally, a “hand” would lift them into the clouds.
As Yang Wan thought about these things, she felt like crying.
After Deng Ying’s punishment, she sat by his bed. At that time, to treat his wounds, his body was unclothed except for a cotton cloth covering his injuries. She had been so proper then, carefully maintaining boundaries between herself and Deng Ying, avoiding his most “ugly” wounds, avoiding his impending “remaining life.” But now, she wanted Deng Ying to lie down in her chambers, to remove the coverings herself, to move aside his hands that tried to hide, without saying a word, quietly gazing at the largest scar on his body.
She had never been someone who cherished the incomplete; she had no aesthetic appreciation for “imperfection.”
But she had a bittersweet desire for Deng Ying’s body and a timeless love for his life.
Yet how could she express these thoughts to this humble man?
“You mentioned buying a house before. Have you been looking?”
As she spoke, she gently released Deng Ying and pressed her brow, trying to calm the surge of emotions within her senses.
Deng Ying, unaware of the tumult in Yang Wan’s heart, answered her question calmly.
“I have been looking. I’ve found two or three places and wanted you to help me look at them.”
“I… it would be difficult for me to leave the palace, wouldn’t it? How could I look?”
“It’s no matter. In a few days, when I’m less busy, I’ll draw sketches of those gardens and bring them back for you to see.”
Yang Wan smiled. “I’d forgotten what you used to do.”
Just then, He Yu came to say that Yi Lang had awakened. Deng Ying stood up and waited with the eunuch behind the screen.
Yang Wan also rose to her feet.
By now, the rain had cleared and the clouds had parted, letting in the first light of dawn.
Seeing Yang Wan’s gaze still following him, Deng Ying looked up and smiled at her.
Yang Wan raised her head toward the boundless sky. Bird calls echoed from within the clouds, and the wind rustled through the tree crowns, creating a harmony of sounds.
The sixth month of the thirteenth year of Zhenning.
Deng Ying was still alive, his life continuing.
If she could buy Deng Ying’s remaining life, Yang Wan would give everything she had.
In a flash, summer had passed.
Several autumn rains quickly cooled the capital’s weather. Autumn leaves rolled in the wind, impossible for the palace servants to sweep clean no matter how they tried.
When Yang Lun returned to the capital, he had just missed Bai Huan’s birthday celebration.
It was said that the entire household had been festive for several days, but it had also taxed the elderly minister’s spirits. After autumn began, he immediately fell seriously ill, the condition severe. Emperor Zhenning not only bestowed medicine but also ordered Yi Lang to personally visit his residence to inquire about his illness.
Bai Yu Yang and Zhang Cong and others all advised Bai Huan to rest well, but Bai Huan still struggled to rise and attended daily ministerial meetings in the Cabinet, even earlier than usual.
To accommodate Bai Huan’s illness, the emperor ordered the Xixin Bureau to supply coal to the Cabinet duty room at the Huiji Gate ahead of schedule.
When Yang Lun arrived at the Huiji Gate, he happened to see Deng Ying talking with Chen Hua from the Xixin Bureau.
Chen Hua’s expression seemed troubled as he lowered his head and scratched the back of his head, saying:
“Director, the Ministry of Revenue is indeed collecting strictly this year. This is all we have, and only because of His Majesty’s grace. I really can’t spare any more for you, but if you don’t mind, I could save some from the daily supply to the Mixed Hall Bureau. I’ll have someone pick out the good pieces and send them to you.”
Deng Ying nodded, “Then I thank you.”
“What are you saying? Serving you is my duty. Also, about the silver you mentioned last time, I’ve prepared it for you. You see…”
“What silver?”
Yang Lun’s voice interrupted their conversation.
Chen Hua turned to see Yang Lun and hurriedly bowed. “Lord Yang has returned.”
Yang Lun stepped forward, looking into Deng Ying’s eyes: “Haven’t you taken enough?”
Deng Ying turned to Chen Hua and said, “You may go first.”
Chen Hua responded “Yes” and passed by Yang Lun without daring to make a sound.
Yang Lun looked back at Chen Hua and said coldly: “Have you seen how Fu Bainian was escorted to the capital? Have you seen how Li Chao was taken away in chains by the Ministry of Justice? These two men – one the Zhizhou of Jingzhou and Song Wang’s brother-in-law, the other Princess Fuqing’s consort – are now in the Ministry of Justice’s prison, waiting for trial.”
“Yes.”