After experiencing this ordeal, Zhang Yuehui not only failed to pull himself together and wash away his former shame, but instead became melancholic.
Physical suffering was the most tangible lesson. He truly understood what it meant to be homeless and destitute, what it meant to have clothes that couldn’t cover one’s body and insufficient food to fill one’s stomach. Throughout this journey, the tenacious survival abilities that Nanyi had displayed all served to indicate just how much suffering she had endured in the past.
Zhang Yuehui felt that what he had done before was truly inhuman, and his remorse was beyond measure.
This made his entire demeanor constantly sighing and lamenting.
At every turn, he would rest his cheek on his hand and gaze at Nanyi with melancholy and resentment, saying: “I did such terrible things to you, you won’t forgive me, will you?”
“It’s fine, you don’t need to pretend to give me a pleasant face. I know it all—I’m nothing but a complete bastard.”
Nanyi’s fear of hunger had been reawakened by these days of wandering. Every day she had to eat until she was stuffed, terrified that there might not be a next meal. She ate ravenously, completely unable to spare her ears to listen to his melancholy musings about spring and autumn. She pointed at the noodle bowl in front of him and asked: “Are you still eating this? If not, I’ll eat it.”
“…I’m eating.”
Boss Zhang had even become frugal with food.
But miraculously, Zhang Yuehui’s daily expressions of grief actually dispelled much of the sorrow in Nanyi’s heart. When someone is constantly holding you back, you instead have to pull yourself together.
Whether Zhang Yuehui was retreating to advance or genuinely repenting, this tactic was shamefully effective.
Only each time she saw Luo Ci, Nanyi’s heart would skip a beat, inevitably reminded of that painful experience. Then she would uncontrollably think of Xie Queshan, only belatedly realizing what enormous risks he had taken to save her, and how his love had shown signs even then.
But the time they had spent together was far too brief. She couldn’t hate him, nor dared she think of him. She could only quietly pray in her heart that everything would go smoothly for him, that he could walk toward the light.
Those past events were ultimately growing more and more distant from her.
Those tangled accounts, she pretended to have forgotten them all. As for dealing with Luo Ci, since they saw each other every day, they both tacitly pretended not to recognize each other.
Luo Ci was a loyal servant. Every day he kept his eyes straight ahead, focused only on his master Zhang Yuehui. The only time he came to see Nanyi alone was to ask her to persuade their master to allow a physician to come set his bones.
Zhang Yuehui absolutely refused to treat his injury.
He made excuses with a playful smile—sometimes saying he was afraid of pain, sometimes saying the bones would heal on their own without need for trouble, and sometimes claiming the physician’s background was unclear and he didn’t want to see him.
But if the broken leg bone wasn’t set properly, even if it healed, it might leave him permanently lame.
Initially, Nanyi couldn’t understand it. Zhang Yuehui was someone who was so particular that he would find fault even with collar creases that weren’t ironed perfectly smooth, someone with an almost obsessive pursuit of perfection. How could he allow himself to become a limping cripple?
She also wondered if he was playing mind games there, insisting that she must persuade him, wanting her to feel sorry for him before he would let the physician examine him.
Nanyi originally didn’t want to indulge his bad habits, but treating injuries was ultimately a serious matter. Bones grew day by day, and if they grew crooked, treating them again would be troublesome.
She still went to find Zhang Yuehui.
After searching several places, she finally found him. Zhang Yuehui was in the small path of the back garden, leaning on a crutch and practicing walking. The pain made his forehead break out in sweat as he barely managed to walk a few steps.
“Zhang Yuehui, do you really not want this leg of yours anymore?”
Seeing this scene, Nanyi inexplicably became angry and scolded him aloud.
Zhang Yuehui turned to look back, smiled at Nanyi, revealing his gleaming white teeth. Who knew what he was happy about, but under the night’s embrace, with the lantern light dim and hazy, it made him look rather attractive.
“Come out with me. The physician is waiting outside. No matter what, we’re going to set your leg bone properly today.”
“I said I’m not treating it.”
“Why?” Nanyi became anxious.
Zhang Yuehui neither resisted nor argued, only looked at Nanyi with a smile: “Come here.”
Nanyi thought Zhang Yuehui wanted her to come help support him, so she walked over. But unexpectedly, as soon as she approached, he suddenly grabbed her wrist and pulled her in front of him.
A person with a severely injured leg, making such a movement, still used his strength to support his body and stand unmovable as a mountain. When Nanyi looked up, she saw the dense cold sweat on his temples. Yet he was still smiling, and there was actually a hint of loneliness in his smile.
Zhang Yuehui said nothing, slowly, layer by layer, rolling up her sleeves. He carefully cradled her arm as if it were some precious treasure, but it was just an ugly arm marked with several whip scars—new wounds and old wounds running savagely across her fair arm.
He looked up at her, his eyes containing only the clear moonlight: “Does it hurt?”
Nanyi abruptly pulled back her hand, retreating a step in disbelief.
She could hardly believe that his refusal to treat his injury was because he wanted to personally experience the pain she had suffered in the past.
Luo Ci had come. He hadn’t said anything, as if he had forgotten those events, but actually he remembered everything. It was he who had brought her all those injuries. Even if she forgave him, he was unwilling to forgive himself. He was punishing himself in this way.
He owed her too much, as if he could never repay it all.
She had thought that after so much time had passed, his guilt and remorse should have faded, but it turned out that what he had spoken aloud was merely the tip of the iceberg—his love was far more intense than she had imagined.
She was struck speechless, only feeling that all her strength was suddenly drained away. The fate she had once hoped for had arrived at this inappropriate moment. In those years of struggling alone through hardships, she had countless times hoped that her beloved would descend from heaven and share even a little of her suffering, which would have been a comfort.
He had finally come, but so late, later than so many others.
But in this world, true hearts are ultimately the long wind that penetrates everything.
She was also getting to know Zhang Yuehui anew through each and every incident.
She shook her head weakly: “Don’t do this.”
Zhang Yuehui tilted his head and smiled, still with that rogue expression: “If I become a cripple, it will all be because of you. You can’t not take care of me.”
Nanyi’s tears had almost burst from her eyes, but his one sentence dispelled even her sadness like smoke in the wind. Both angry and amused, she said: “If I ever want to run away in the future, with that leg of yours you won’t be able to chase me. You’d better stay safe and sound.”
“You’re not that kind of person.” Zhang Yuehui said with certainty.
Really, no one could out-argue Zhang Yuehui’s twisted logic. Nanyi was both helpless and angry.
“Are you going to get treatment or not?”