After treating the wound, she threw the cotton swab into the trash can and got up to wash her hands in the kitchen. Xie Ruhe followed, standing silently beside her.
Shu Nian shook the water off her hands and said: “You should wash your hands too.”
Xie Ruhe nodded and stepped forward to rinse his hands.
Shu Nian walked out of the kitchen: “So we’re having noodles tonight?”
Xie Ruhe said: “Yes.”
Shu Nian picked up the bag and walked to the dining table.
Xie Ruhe came over to help and asked softly: “Are you still feeling unwell?”
Shu Nian answered honestly: “Not anymore.”
“Tell me if you feel uncomfortable.”
“Okay.”
Xie Ruhe had bought signature beef noodles from a nearby noodle shop. To prevent the noodles from getting mushy, the noodles and soup were packed in separate containers, four boxes in total.
The soup was still very hot. Xie Ruhe, worried that Shu Nian might get scalded, didn’t let her touch it and stood up to pour the soup into the noodle bowl himself.
Shu Nian rested her chin on her palm, looking at the wound on his arm, hesitating to speak.
Xie Ruhe finished pouring the soup, stirred the noodles with chopsticks, and then placed the bowl in front of Shu Nian. Noticing her gaze, he paused, pressed his lips together, and worried that she might overthink, decided not to hide anything anymore.
“My grandparents and several of my uncles came here.”
Shu Nian suddenly remembered Deng Qingyu’s words and made a sound of realization.
“I happened to run into them when I was coming back,” Xie Ruhe said calmly. “My uncle pushed me, and I wasn’t paying attention and scraped against the wall. It’s nothing serious.”
Shu Nian hadn’t expected this and couldn’t help saying: “How could they do that?”
“They probably want me to go back to see my father,” Xie Ruhe didn’t seem concerned. “Also, they want me to give them money. They said they need money for my father’s burial and to help support my grandparents.”
“…” Shu Nian guessed, “Did they yell at you?”
Xie Ruhe made a sound of agreement but didn’t say anything more, lowering his head to take a bite of noodles.
Shu Nian held her chopsticks, sitting quietly and watching him.
She remembered the time in Shiyan Town when Ji Xiangning was an outsider with no one to rely on except Xie Ji. But her husband was unreliable, drinking daily and both hitting and cursing when his temper flared.
This sole support became the source of her painful life.
At that time, only Ji Xiangning would protect Xie Ruhe.
Other relatives merely observed their family situation with cold eyes. They did nothing then, but now they presumed to act as Xie Ruhe’s elders, lecturing him and demanding money from him.
Shu Nian also recalled Zeng Yuanxue’s words.
She exhaled, suddenly feeling very sad. Those words were something Shu Nian would probably never tell Xie Ruhe in her lifetime; she would never want him to know the real reason why Ji Xiangning truly gave up hope.
Shu Nian lowered her head and asked: “I forgot, why did we lose contact?”
Xie Ruhe’s movements stopped his Adam’s apple bobbing.
It wasn’t really due to any major reason.
It was because of distance, and also because of time. The two of them were separated by such a great distance, each with their own lives, busy with their affairs. They remained important to each other, yet they also felt like strangers.
When something happened, they no longer told each other first.
Gradually, they chatted only occasionally, and only about happy things, never bringing any of their negative energy to the other. They became familiar strangers, old friends.
Shu Nian suddenly remembered and said hesitantly: “I recall now, I think I tried to reach you several times, but you never responded. I called you but you didn’t answer. Then we lost contact.”
Xie Ruhe licked his lips: “Yes.”
“…” Shu Nian asked incredulously, “You saw my messages and deliberately ignored me?”
“On your 20th birthday, I called you,” Xie Ruhe put down his chopsticks, speaking almost to himself. “By then, I had been using the name A He for two years.”
Shu Nian was stunned: “You called me? I didn’t know.”
In Shu Nian’s memory, since Xie Ruhe went to France, they generally only contacted each other on QQ and rarely called. This was due to the time difference and because neither of them was particularly talkative.
“Xu Zeyuan answered the phone,” Xie Ruhe lowered his eyes again. “He said he was your boyfriend.”
Originally, he had wanted to tell her that he was planning to return to China and wanted to see her. At that time, the pen name A He as a singer-songwriter was gradually gaining some recognition, and he had a source of income.
He felt like the distance between them was slowly closing.
He was using his abilities to gradually reduce the gap between them.
It would no longer be like in Shiyan Town, where everyone said such hurtful things to her because his father was abusive, even when she reached out to help him.
In that place, everyone probably thought it was wrong for them to be together.
One was a troubled youth, always gloomy and filled with resentment, never paying attention in class and often skipping school; the other was a cheerful, kind girl who listened attentively to teachers and parents, living a clean and clear life—even on rainy days, her white shoes remained spotless—a good girl.
They were clearly from different worlds.
Even Shu Nian’s mother thought so.
Perhaps even Xie Ruhe himself thought so.
So he wanted to become better, to make others forget that he had such a father, that embarrassing existence he couldn’t escape.
Xie Ruhe very much wanted to stay by Shu Nian’s side, but never just as a friend.
He had deeper desires.
But when Xie Ruhe felt he had achieved the first step and wanted to get closer to her, to return to her side—
Someone else was already by her side.
It made him feel as if he had no reason to continue accompanying her.
Xie Ruhe said: “After that, I never logged into that QQ account again.”
Shu Nian stammered: “I didn’t know…”
Xie Ruhe rubbed her head: “It was my fault.”
He knew that cutting contact with her without a word was very bad behavior. But he couldn’t bear the thought of her mentioning Xu Zeyuan to him, talking about their relationship, their first time holding hands, their first embrace, their first kiss.
Imagining such scenes made it hard for him to breathe.
It was extremely unbearable.
Shu Nian was silent for a while, then apologized to him: “I’m sorry.”
Xie Ruhe looked up: “Hmm? What are you apologizing for?”
“I lied to you before. If you had told me you liked me in high school, I probably would have scolded you,” Shu Nian said glumly. “My father taught me that way back then—that at such a young age, I shouldn’t think about such unrealistic things, that students should focus on studying.”
Xie Ruhe didn’t understand what she was trying to say, his expression confused.
“I apologize for my stubbornness.”
“…”
Probably feeling it wasn’t quite right, Shu Nian found it difficult to say, and after struggling for a long time, she finally managed to get the words out.
“I feel like dating in school might have been nice too…”