After steaming the rice, I lifted my skirt hem and crouched on the doorstep, anxiously gazing toward the village entrance. Xu Fang had said he would buy two large grass carps this evening to make soup for me, celebrating my recovery from serious illness.
Speaking of which, I had been troubling him for quite some time now. Ever since he rescued me from my suicide attempt at the cliff edge during the peak peach season this year, our days had not been going smoothly.
I seemed to suffer from a strange and peculiar ailment—often I would wake from dreams having forgotten everything, including my own name and surname.
During that time, Xu Fang had to wake up very early each day, fearing that if I woke first, I would panic from the blank memory. He would tirelessly repeat the same comforting words, even though I would forget them completely the next day.
This condition persisted for a very long time, until one particular morning when I opened my eyes and said, “Xu Fang, I’m thirsty.”
He was stunned for a full half cup of tea’s time before going to boil water. Even after calming down for quite a while, his hands still trembled incessantly while pouring the tea.
From then on, my condition gradually improved. Initially I would occasionally forget things, but recently I could remember even trivial matters clearly. Xu Fang was in excellent spirits and had gone out early to earn money.
He truly indulged me.
My temperament wasn’t particularly good—sometimes I would complain about our simple meals, and when he used his saved copper coins to buy dried meat, I would start lamenting that our neighbor Wang Jie had gotten a new cotton robe.
Xu Fang rarely got angry with me. When I was being unreasonable, he would patiently listen and try his best to satisfy me. If it was beyond his means, he would hold me and play the bamboo flute to comfort me.
I once asked him, “Why are you so good to me? After rescuing me, you discovered I was a troublesome person—you could have just abandoned me. We were complete strangers originally.”
He replied, “Mainly because I was bored.”
I kicked him hard while he wailed, then he pressed his lips together, watched me with amusement for quite a while, and said, “He Feng, because I know better than anyone the pain of having no memories.”
He Feng was the name he gave me. Actually, Xu Fang was also a name he chose for himself—when the village head found him a year ago, he had lost his memory. The doctor said once the swelling at the back of his head completely subsided, he would likely remember his past.
Actually, deep in my heart, I didn’t want him to recover his memory. I often told him that no matter what past you have, you’re not allowed to abandon me. But even though he promised a hundred times, I never felt at peace.
While I was lost in foolish thoughts, a hand pinched my face, and Xu Fang’s voice reached my ears: “What are you thinking about so intently that you’re drooling?” Then staring at the grass carp in his hand, “Little fish, your mother misses you so much her heart is breaking.”
I pushed him hard: “You’re its mother!”
His eyes curved with a smile: “If you’re its mother, then naturally I’m its father.”
I was instantly overjoyed, trying hard to suppress my upturned lips, but failing. Xu Fang vigorously ruffled my hair: “Have you washed the cutting board? I’ll make you a big grass carp tonic soup.”
Whether it was his good cooking skills or the fish’s freshness, I rarely ate with such satisfaction. While he was washing dishes, I mysteriously slipped a jade flute into his hands: “For you.”
Xu Fang was stunned and asked, “Where did this come from?”
“I bought it.”
“Where did you get so much silver?”
“…I saved it.”
Xu Fang put on an expression that said “you can’t fool me,” so I sheepishly said, “I earned it washing clothes for the village head’s wife.”
His eyes filled with heartache, “I… the current me simply cannot give you fine clothes and precious food, but if…”
I asked, “What?”
He paused for a long while but refused to continue, only pulling me to sit under a tree, saying, “Why don’t I play the flute for you?”
The flute’s melody slowly began, a gentle breeze stirred, black hair flying, and the slanting sunlight made him look like a figure from a painting.
I couldn’t help but stare in fascination.
The days passed as peacefully and contentedly as I had imagined. Just when I thought we would continue like this until the end of time, I inadvertently saw a notice posted on a stone wall at the market.
A missing person notice, seeking the heir of Marquis Xia Yang, Nie Ran.
Worthy of being the head of the four great families, the Nie family’s notice bore a remarkably lifelike portrait—anyone who had seen the young master in person would surely recognize him.
Let alone someone like me who spent day and night with him.
When I returned home, Xu Fang was cooking in the kitchen. The clanging sounds of the spatula forced all the words I had pondered on the way back down my throat.
He was the noble heir of Marquis Xia Yang. Even if he didn’t mind, how could his family tolerate a wild girl of unknown origins like me?
However, what was meant to come couldn’t be avoided. When I woke the next day, Xu Fang wasn’t sitting by my bedside as usual.
I frantically searched the entire house but couldn’t find a trace of him.
Until I heard commotion in the front courtyard.
I tiptoed to the door and saw a ground full of kneeling people in the courtyard, all showing fearful expressions. Xu Fang stood leisurely among them, his calm voice carrying an air of authority: “All of you, go back.”
The leading elder said tremblingly, “Young Master, the Marquis and Madam have been searching for you constantly, and the young madam, she…”
Xu Fang gave him a cold glance. I had never seen such an expression on him—from my angle, it looked like anger: “If I don’t leave, do you still want to force me back?”
Those people immediately fell silent as cicadas, constantly kowtowing for forgiveness. Xu Fang waved his sleeve with considerable impatience: “Enough, I will return to Suiyang in a few days to apologize to Father myself.”
Only after that group left did Xu Fang turn around. Seeing me standing by the door, he said anxiously, “He Feng, why are you awake?”
I stared at him blankly: “When did you recover Nie Ran’s memories?”
Xu Fang’s expression changed slightly: “You know everything? You…”
I interrupted: “Do you have a wife?”
Xu Fang couldn’t continue speaking.
My tears fell uncontrollably: “Are you going back to reunite with her?” Xu Fang came to take my hands, but I flung them away: “If you want to go back, then go. I don’t need your pity.”
Xu Fang ignored my struggles and held me tightly, saying urgently, “He Feng, how could I possibly abandon you… She and I haven’t formally bowed in the wedding ceremony yet, so you… don’t be angry with me.”