Finally seeing Xie Zhuo again, I was filled with gratitude toward fate, but this gratitude… quickly turned into melancholy.
Looking at the tiny Xie Zhuo before me, I wanted to sigh, but I had no mouth, nor any breath…
I, Fu Jiuxia, a mere soul, had been here for three years!
Three years! Time passes swiftly like a galloping colt. The infant Xie Zhuo had grown into a small child. Though still tiny, he was much bigger than when I first saw him.
Back then, three years ago, just after seeing infant Xie Zhuo, I immediately tried to find someone in the Snow Wolf tribe whose soul was compatible with mine, someone whose body I could enter. Though I didn’t know what to say to such a young Xie Zhuo, at least… I could have held him, touched him, even that would have been enough.
But!
I searched the entire Snow Wolf tribe and couldn’t find a single person compatible with my soul!
So I had to go to more distant places.
But as merely a soul without physical form, unable to use magic, I could only try my best to ride the wind, floating unsteadily forward.
When I floated out from the forest of the Snow Wolf tribe, I drifted to the Northern Wilderness, where the City of Immortals had not yet been built. After floating around the Northern Wilderness, trying every person I encountered, still without success, I felt I couldn’t waste any more time. Not knowing what was happening with Xie Zhuo, I was worried and indeed missed seeing him terribly…
So I floated back to the forest of the Snow Wolf tribe.
Seeing Xie Zhuo again, he had grown much larger.
The Snow Wolf tribe used their soul power to nurture him day and night, so he grew faster than ordinary children, and his mind matured earlier.
He seemed… already aware that he was different from others.
After my return, I floated beside him every day. He couldn’t sense my existence, nor could any member of the Snow Wolf tribe.
Little Xie Zhuo, after receiving the daily offerings, liked to leave his tent. He would walk from the east side of the Snow Wolf tribe’s settlement to the west side, and then back again from west to east.
I accompanied him, floating from east to west and back again, so I could see him every day.
Wherever Xie Zhuo went, no one stopped him, nor did anyone speak to him. Only occasionally would children whisper behind his back after he passed by. Then, these children would be taken back by their parents.
Little Xie Zhuo would turn around to look at those people.
His large eyes, characteristic of children, would gaze at those who avoided him, but those people wouldn’t even make eye contact with him.
At such times, little Xie Zhuo would silently blink twice, then reach out to grab something—perhaps a stone on the ground, or perhaps the snow-white trunk of a nearby tree. He would tap his foot with the stone or gently bump his head against the tree trunk.
He seemed to be trying to confirm something—
That he truly existed, right?
That they could see him, right?
They could see him.
Only they chose not to see him.
Although they came to offer their soul power to him every day, everyone treated him more like an idol they were forced to worship.
Fearful, guarded, and afraid that the power behind the idol might, at some unknown time, bring punishment upon them.
Little Xie Zhuo didn’t understand why. He only knew that he seemed different from others, and among all these people, only one person was also different from the rest…
Xie Zhuo’s mother—Xie Ling.
By the chief’s order, every adult member of the Snow Wolf tribe had to offer soul power to Xie Zhuo daily, including Xie Ling.
But soul power was precious, and the evil god had killed her blood-oath partner. Moreover, Zhu Lian, the child Xie Ling had with her original partner, had fallen ill since the day his father was killed, confined to his bed, never leaving his tent.
Xie Ling needed to use soul power to nurture Zhu Lian and also offer a portion to Xie Zhuo. She couldn’t be like other Snow Wolf tribe members who could leave one person at home to care for a sick child. She had to go out and, by some means, find soul power, barely maintaining her own life.
She hated Xie Zhuo…
So, she was different from others.
Whenever she returned, Xie Zhuo would “happen” to be walking at the place of her return.
Xie Ling wouldn’t ignore Xie Zhuo. She would look at him with hatred, then walk quickly toward the tent where Zhu Lian was.
After meeting Xie Ling’s gaze, Xie Zhuo would freeze for a moment, then, with laboring steps, follow in Xie Ling’s footsteps, trying to catch up.
Just before reaching Zhu Lian’s tent, Xie Ling would stop, turn around, and glare at Xie Zhuo.
“Get lost. This is not a place you deserve to be.”
Then Xie Zhuo would stop, watching as Xie Ling walked inside.
He would stand outside the tent for a long time, not saying a word, his thoughts unknown. After a certain time, he would obediently leave on his own.
Then he would walk to the frozen lake where no one else would go.
Looking at his reflection in the icy lake, he would say softly, “Today, she saw me again.”
Watching little Xie Zhuo, my heart was always in turmoil, unable to find peace: “I’ve always been watching you,” I recited in my heart.
In the sky, snowflakes began to fall gently.
Little Xie Zhuo didn’t look up, still gazing at the ice beneath his feet: “I can be seen.”
“Of course you can be seen. You’re not alone. You’ve always been watched.”
How I wished to answer him, how I hoped he could hear me.
At that moment, snowflakes continuously passed through my soul, and I suddenly had an idea.