By the time everything was prepared, it was well into the afternoon.
Only An Jiu and Chu Dingjiang remained in the room.
An Jiu hesitated for a long while before untying her clothes. Logically, she and Chu Dingjiang had been intimate many times, so there should be no shyness. But the reality was the opposite – the simple act of undressing now charged the air with a trembling, heart-fluttering tension, unlike the ease she had felt when undressing in front of Mo Siguai.
The sash was tied too tightly, and when An Jiu yanked at it, it only became more stubbornly knotted.
“Let me help you,” Chu Dingjiang said, moving closer. His deep voice seemed to reverberate not just in her ears, but in the depths of her heart.
An Jiu felt her blood and heat concentrate at her earlobes, then spread to her cheeks and neck as he undressed her.
Piece by piece, the clothing fell to the floor, until she stood completely bare. An Jiu felt a bit self-conscious.
When their gazes met, they quickly looked away. An Jiu cleared her throat softly. “I feel like I’m becoming more and more timid.”
“It’s not because I’m timid,” Chu Dingjiang said, his voice filled with amusement as he embraced her. “This way, it’s good.”
Chu Dingjiang’s clothing brushed against her skin, causing a strange, tingling sensation to spread throughout her body. An Jiu wondered if she had fallen ill, as the same fabric she had worn before had never elicited such a reaction.
Chu Dingjiang did not expect to see the other side of An Jiu in this situation. He was both delighted by the moment and saddened by the pain she would have to endure next. His emotions were complicated, overtaking his initial feelings.
After a moment, they parted, and An Jiu lay down on the prepared platform.
Chu Dingjiang took the bamboo strips and carefully applied the medicine, the thick, dark ointment covering her skin, as white as congealed lard, gradually obscuring the various emotions in his heart, restoring his calmness.
Outside, the moonlight was bright.
Mo Siguirentraced back the events of the past three times, losing himself in thought and smoking two bags of cigarettes. When he looked back at the closed door, he was puzzled.
“There are only two things to do! Are you planning to stay in there until dawn?” he said, knocking on the door.
After waiting for a while, there was still no response. “I say, are you planning to stay in there and give birth to the child first?”
After about another moment, Chu Dingjiang finally opened the door and stepped out.
Mo Siguirfurrowed his brow. “The ones who are in a hurry to recast are you two, yet you’re the slowest when it comes to the critical moment.”
Chu Dingjiang didn’t get angry but simply gave him a calm look. “Those without a wife wouldn’t understand.”
“You, you, you, you stay out here!” Mo Siguirslammed the door shut, huffing as he walked to An Jiu’s side. “I don’t have a wife because I don’t want one, and believe me, if I decide to take a wife now, all the young ladies in Bianjing would line up at the West River County waiting for me!”
“But in the end, they wouldn’t be the ones you’d want to marry,” An Jiu said, her voice muffled by the cloth covering her mouth, her words slightly distorted by the intense pain. Yet, she spoke the truth bluntly.
Mo Siguirwas exasperated. “Can you all just calm down? If you make me too frustrated, I’ll just wash my hands of this and see where you’ll go to cry.”
“We didn’t mean to.” An Jiu often didn’t realize when her words were inappropriate. But this time, “This time, it was intentional.”
Mo remained silent, glaring at her with resentment.
To distract herself, An Jiu kept talking to him. “Although I shouldn’t meddle in others’ affairs, I just can’t stand how you have her in your heart, yet you can’t forget her and are willing to torture yourself to the point of losing your humanity, without even trying to find her.”
“Who says I’ve lost my humanity? I’m still as graceful as a jade tree!” Mo tried to change the subject.
But An Jiu was too focused on her train of thought to hear him, “You’ve chosen different paths, but hers is a dead end. If you could rush up and pull her back, even if you couldn’t, at least you could accompany her to the very end, instead of being so lonely in your resentment.”
These words were not just for Lou Mingyue, but also herself. Back then, An Jiu had desperately longed for someone, something, or even an object that she could possess, to provide her with even the slightest warmth and solace.
“Do you think letting go is a mutual liberation? You don’t know that some bonds can never be severed, not even by life and death…”
“If it were me, even if I faced the same situation before, I would have been at a loss. But now, if I were you, I would cling on even tighter, even if it meant entangling myself in a web of my own making.”
If only she could go back to her childhood, even if she could only manage to give her mother a single kiss.
“Just being a cold, detached observer, you’ll regret it for this life, the next life, and the life after that…”
An Jiu had promised Lou Mingyue not to interfere in their affairs, and that she would keep her word. However, this didn’t stop her from using this matter to provoke Mo Siguir.
“I’m not breaking my promise to Lou Mingyue by saying these things. I’m not interfering, I’m just interjecting.” An Jiu wanted to laugh, but the excruciating pain only allowed her to let out two strange “hus”. Still, she felt quite proud, “Such a brilliant idea, why… did I only think of it… now? It must be from spending so much time with Uncle Chu, I’ve become quite cunning too…”
An Jiu was the kind of person who could speak without a hitch even with a hole in her body. Hearing her voice, Chu Dingjiang, standing outside, couldn’t imagine the extent of her pain. He felt his heart knotted in a tangled mess.
The saying “the extreme leads to reversal” is true. She was so strong, yet her strength had made her so fragile, so heartbreaking.
Chu Dingjiang had seen many charming women who inspired pity, and as a man, he too had admired such women. But this one had carved her way into his very bones and blood.
He couldn’t resist pushing the door open and going inside.
“A-Jiu.”
An Jiu didn’t answer for a long while, only panting heavily.
After an unknown length of time, she finally steadied her breath. “Why do I suddenly feel like I can’t hold on anymore?”
Just a moment ago, she had felt she could endure it, but hearing Chu Dingjiang’s voice, she suddenly felt the pain was unbearable.
“Chu Dingjiang, it hurts,” she said.
Chu Dingjiang didn’t dare to touch her, afraid of making things worse. He simply said, “Don’t be afraid, I’m here with you.”
“Mm.”
Listening to An Jiu’s words, Mo Siguirwas somewhat moved. But the current situation made his heart skip a beat.
Chu Dingjiang had said, “Don’t be afraid, I’m here with you.”
Yet, where had he been when Lou Mingyue was bearing the pain? Was it truly just because of her strength and refusal of him that he had chosen to give up?
Mo Siguirlet out a long sigh, feeling somewhat lost.
This time, it was mostly Chu Dingjiang who had been busy, while Mo Siguironly contributed with some words, the rest of the time lost in his thoughts. As a result, he felt the time had passed remarkably quickly.
It was only when they lifted An Jiu out of the medicinal tub that he realized he had been awake and working without rest for such a long time.