Never!
Zhou Shaojin thought miserably.
She had only ever felt this way… about Uncle Chi!
Could it be that she had fallen for Uncle Chi!
Zhou Shaojin covered her face, so ashamed she wanted to disappear.
Was it because she liked him in her heart that when Uncle Chi drank too much, she could sit calmly by his side fanning him? Sitting there until the third watch was struck, still unwilling to leave…
Was it because she liked him in her heart that she moved into Hanbi Mountain Manor without much thought? Only wanting to be with him day and night, to see him even once…
Was it because she liked him in her heart that she liked to seek him out for everything, big or small? Only wanting to see him work and worry on her behalf, which filled her with boundless joy…
“Cousin Jia!” She clung to Cheng Jia and wept bitterly, “Why did you have to fall for Li Jing?”
If Cheng Jia hadn’t fallen for Li Jing, she wouldn’t have needed to know what “liking someone” meant… It was all Cheng Jia’s fault! Putting her in such an embarrassing position!
How could she face Cheng Chi in the future!
Zhou Shaojin cried so heartbrokenly!
As if something she cherished had been taken away, crying beyond consolation.
Was she afraid that after marrying Li Jing, she would ignore her?
Hearing this, Cheng Jia’s eyes also reddened. She held Zhou Shaojin, gently stroking her back to comfort her: “Even if I like Li Jing, you’re still my dear sister! Li Jing values me, so he’ll treat you well too. Won’t it be good to have another brother to dote on you in the future?”
No good!
Zhou Shaojin shook her head as she cried.
Li Jing was Cheng Jia’s—what did he have to do with her?
She only wanted her Uncle Chi… She only wanted things to be like before with Uncle Chi…
Zhou Shaojin bit her lip hard, unable to say a word, not daring to say a word—she was afraid she couldn’t help herself, that she would say words that would plunge both her and Cheng Chi into hell.
Watching her bite her lip until it bled, swaying unsteadily, looking so pained as if she would collapse the next moment, Cheng Jia’s tears streamed down her face as she kept calling “Shaojin,” “Shaojin”: “Don’t be like this! I won’t marry, is that okay? I won’t marry, is that okay?”
“No, no!” Zhou Shaojin didn’t even know what she was saying, clinging tightly to Cheng Jia’s arm like clutching driftwood for survival.
Cheng Jia liked Li Jing—at least she could say it out loud!
But what about her?
Where could she go from here?
Pretend nothing had happened and continue staying at Hanbi Mountain Manor?
Or bury these feelings deep in her heart, acting as if nothing had occurred?
Once Uncle Chi married, she would be nothing!
She couldn’t bear it… couldn’t bear it…
But what could she do even if she couldn’t bear it?
Could she be so shameless and disgraceful as to reveal her feelings to him?
Just thinking about Cheng Chi looking at her with shocked and contemptuous eyes made her chest ache. Like Cheng Jia had said, as if a piece had been carved out with a knife, so painful she wished she could just die.
She buried herself in Cheng Jia’s embrace, murmuring, “Cousin Jia, what should I do? What should I do?”
Zhou Shaojin wanted to find her sister.
But could she tell Sister about this?
Find Father?
That was even more impossible!
What should she do?
What to do?
Zhou Shaojin was as panicked and uneasy as a small animal fallen into a trap.
When Fan Liushi and Chun Wan rushed over, they saw Zhou Shaojin and Cheng Jia holding each other and crying bitterly.
“What, what’s happened?” Fan Liushi said, unsure whether to pull them apart or not.
Cheng Jia was the first to regain her composure. Wiping her tears, she said, “Mama, just bring us water to wash our faces again! We just talked about some sad things, so we cried.”
Fan Liushi certainly didn’t believe it, but this wasn’t the time to pursue such matters.
She instructed the junior maids to bring water. Chun Wan and Cui Huan attended to Zhou Shaojin and Cheng Jia respectively as they washed up.
Cheng Jia’s side finished washing quickly, but Zhou Shaojin remained wooden in expression, her tears falling like broken pearls on a string. They were wiped away only to fall again, wiped clean only to fall once more. Before long, her eyes were red and swollen.
Fan Liushi held Zhou Shaojin, saying sorrowfully, “My dear young miss, what’s happened to you? Whatever it is, you can tell me directly. Even if I’m useless, there’s still Old Madam, Old Madam Guo, and the Master! Seeing you like this hurts me more than if you’d killed me!”
Zhou Shaojin forced a smile, “I’m fine. Just feeling sad.” As she spoke, tears rolled down like dewdrops, unstoppable. The person who had been like a flower now seemed frost-bitten, wilting away.
Watching her in such pain, Fan Liushi covered her mouth with a handkerchief and began crying too. While crying, she said, “Second Young Miss, don’t be like this! We’ll write to the Master, we’ll go to Baoding Prefecture…”
She had never liked Cheng Jia, feeling that Cheng Jia relied on her parents’ favor to boss Zhou Shaojin around. But she couldn’t say this outright. She’d reminded Zhou Shaojin several times, but Zhou Shaojin never took her words to heart. Fearing unsuccessful admonishment would instead earn her a reputation for sowing discord, she never dared mention it again. But after Zhou Shaojin woke from that fall, she seemed like a different person—not only having her own opinions but also her own stance in interpersonal relationships. Fan Liushi was overjoyed and let Zhou Shaojin be.