Zu An had no idea how long the poison would last. Once these bandits shook off its effects, the tables would surely be turned on him. He had to eliminate all danger before then.
At least he was not torturing these bandits, unlike the twisted protagonists in some of the novels he’d read.
Ji Xiaoxi knew deep down that Zu An was right about the bandits. The lecherous looks they had directed towards her were still fresh in her mind. Reluctantly, she held back from persuading him away from his course of action.
Zu An moved on to the next bandit in line. That bandit shot a glance at his two dead companions, and yelled defiantly, “Kill me if you want to! Cut out that hypocritical crap of giving us a chance for survival! We’re all bandits, not a single one of us knows how to play any instruments!”
Zu An’s knit his eyebrows together. “Is that so? Fine, I’ll choose another question then. It’s a common sense question that any human should be able to give an answer to.”
The bandit didn’t expect Zu An to be so accommodating. A flicker of hope shone in his eyes. “Fine,” he said, “ask away.”
Zu An pointed to his own face and asked, “Am I handsome?”
The bandit immediately gushed, “Definitely! I’ve never seen a man as handsome as you. You’re the most handsome man in Brightmoon… Ah, no, it should be the most handsome man in the entire world! Even the elven princes will kill themselves out of embarrassment in your presence! Err… Yes, and even that number one beauty of the capital, Madam Yu, will ovulate right in your presence. Heh, even she wouldn’t be worthy of you…”
Given the current circumstances, even if Zu An had resembled an Assrip Wolf, the bandit would have still buttered him up to high heavens.
The other bandits who were still alive looked sympathetically at their companion. Coming up with all these phrases to suck up to their enemy must have been extremely difficult.
Flames of anger burned in the eyes of the Yu clan guards. After witnessing Zu An’s cruelty, they dared not direct their rage toward him. They could only glare hatefully at that bandit who had uttered those insolent words about their matriarch.
You have successfully trolled Yu Yanluo for 99 Rage points!
Zu An was entertained by this. This was the first time he was receiving Rage points from Madam Yu. It looked like this bandit had really gone overboard with his bootlicking.
Seeing the smile on Zu An’s face, the bandit was overjoyed. He quickly asked, “Does my answer satisfy you?”
“You know too much.” With a quick motion, he ended the babbling bandit’s life.
You have successfully trolled the bandits of the Blackwind Stockade for 666 Rage points!
The Yu clan guards were dumbstruck. He dares to give such a flippant reason?
“Pfft~”
A trace of laughter came from within the carriage, which was swiftly muffled. Silence returned.
Zu An moved on to the fourth bandit and asked, “Same question. Am I handsome?”
That bandit’s eyes darted about. The tragic fate that befell the bootlicker was still fresh in his mind. “You are ugly, but you are overflowing with masculini…”
Before he could finish his sentence, Zu An had already slit his throat. “You must be blind.”
You have successfully trolled the bandits of the Blackwind Stockade for 666 Rage points!
He moved on to the fifth bandit and asked the same question once more.
The bandit felt his bladder loosen as he saw Zu An standing before him. The other two had both been killed despite giving opposing answers! His voice quivering in fear, he replied, “I… I don’t know…”
Zu An made quick work of him. He sighed deeply and remarked, “What’s the point of living in this world when you don’t even know something like this?”
You have successfully trolled the bandits of the Blackwind Stockade for 666 Rage points!
…
Moving from one bandit to the next, he finally reached their leader, Bao Gang. “Yes, it’s your turn.”
Bao Gang sniffed coldly. “I’m going to die no matter what I say. You’re the one who calls the shots anyway. Since that’s the case, why bother putting up this farce? Just kill me then. However, I can assure you that my two brothers will avenge me. They’ll surely tear you into countless pieces!”
Zu An nodded slowly before replying with a sigh, “You’re right. I did go a bit too far earlier.”
Bao Gang would have cried if not for his final sliver of reason. A bit too far? I’ve nearly crapped in my pants!
“How about we do this then? I’ll give you a question that has a standard answer. As long as you get it right, I promise that I’ll release you,” Zu An said.
“Are you serious about that?” Even though Bao Gang knew that it was unlikely, his instincts for survival still compelled him to go along with Zu An’s game. After all, being alive was a wonderful thing. He could plunder other people’s money and sleep with other people’s wives. He could not enjoy these things if he were dead.
Zu An nodded and replied, “Of course I’m serious. This question definitely has a standard answer. If you think my verdict is wrong, I’ll even tell you the correct answer so that you can die in peace.”
Bao Gang gritted his teeth. “Ask your question.”
Zu An said, “‘To sit before a feast of three hundred lychees every day’. What’s the next line after this?” Heh, there’s no way you can possibly answer this ancient poem that came from my realm.
Surprisingly, Bao Gang’s eyes lit up in delight. “I know, I know! The next line is ‘A lifetime I shall be a Lingnan man’.”
Zu An felt his jaw drop. No doubt the culture of this world was very similar to that of ancient China in his own world, but he’d never expected that they would share the same poems too. Didn’t that mean he couldn’t plagiarize poems to flaunt his literary talent, like so many other transmigrators?
“Wrong!” Zu An’s face was livid as raised his dagger and prepared to plunge it into Bao Gang.
Bao Gang screeched in indignance. “Impossible! I have heard of that poem before! ‘A world of eternal spring beneath Mount Luofu, loquats and bayberries harvested fresh. To sit before a feast of three hundred lychees every day, a lifetime I shall be a Lingnan man!’ I definitely got it right! Why don’t you tell me how I’m wrong?”
Zu An sneered coldly. “The next line is clearly ‘In a year I shall eat 109,500 lychees’! This is a question on mathematics, not poetry!” He raised his dagger up high and plunged it down.
“You swindling bastard!”
You have successfully trolled Bao Gang for 999 Rage points!
Zu An cleaned his dagger on the bandit leader’s body before exhaling deeply. “Now you know.”
“Gulu~”
The Yu clan guards swallowed in fear. Didn’t we scold this fellow earlier on, too? Shit, we’re goners!
However, Zu An paid no heed to them. Instead, he began ransacking the corpses of Bao Gang and the other bandits.
Ji Xiaoxi wondered what he was doing. “Big brother Zu, are you trying to find their tokens to verify their identity?”
Zu An shook his head and replied, “Why would I do that? I’m checking for valuables… Goddamnit, how is that they don’t even have a single copper coin?!”