She looked up at the lush bodhi tree, which had grown to a height of seven to eight zhang. Recalling when Li Ying planted it, the tree was not even as high as Li Ying’s knees. “When planting the tree, I never thought Ming Yuezhu would leave me so early.”
Upon hearing this, Cui Xun couldn’t help but look toward Li Ying, who had already arrived. Li Ying stood behind the Imperial Guards. Dozens of fully armed Imperial Guards surrounded the Empress Dowager, also isolating her daughter outside. The Imperial Guards were sturdy and robust; her daughter couldn’t even see their faces.
Through the gaps between the Imperial Guards’ shoulders, Cui Xun seemed to see the grief in Li Ying’s eyes. He silently withdrew his gaze and said to the Empress Dowager: “Princess Yong’an would surely wish to always be by the Empress Dowager’s side.”
The Empress Dowager murmured, “Yes, Ming Yuezhu was most attached to me. When she was little, she even said she didn’t want to marry but wanted to stay with me and her father, for our family to be together forever.”
As she spoke, her eyes gradually moistened: “Ming Yuezhu was so sensible and good. Why did such a thing happen to her? Why, why did it have to be my Ming Yuezhu?”
Cui Xun remained silent for a long time, then said: “The Empress Dowager should take care in her grief.”
“I’m tired of hearing those words of condolence.” The Empress Dowager smiled bitterly: “Enough. You never had Ming Yuezhu, so naturally, you don’t know how wonderful she was. Therefore, you can never understand how I feel about losing her.”
Cui Xun pursed his lips and lowered his head: “The Empress Dowager should take care in her grief.”
The Empress Dowager seemed to grow weary:
“Wangshu, please withdraw for now. I want to be alone for a while.”
Cui Xun nodded. As he withdrew, he glanced at Li Ying, then waved his hand, ordering the Imperial Guards to step back several zhang, making space for Li Ying.
As soon as space was made, Li Ying flew like the wind to the Empress Dowager’s side. Perhaps because the Empress Dowager was still unwell, she was exhausted and sat on the ground in front of the tree. Using her palm, she measured from the tree root to the trunk. When she measured to the height of ten palms, she smiled and said: “That’s right, this was how tall the tree was when Ming Yuezhu planted it.”
Li Ying’s eyes were already red. Though the Empress Dowager couldn’t hear her, she still lightened her footsteps. She knelt before the Empress Dowager, tears flowing down her face.
She looked up at the Empress Dowager, a lump in her throat. She wanted to say many things, to tell her how much she missed her, how she had thought of her every moment these thirty years. But in the end, she just looked at the white hair at the Empress Dowager’s temples and said with tears and a smile: “Mother, you have white hair now.”
The Empress Dowager couldn’t see or hear her. She continued measuring with her palm, murmuring: “When the tree was planted, it was only this high, not even reaching Ming Yuezhu’s knees.”
Li Ying was weeping uncontrollably. She wanted to hold her mother’s hand, just as she had when she was little, but her hand passed through the Empress Dowager’s palm. She couldn’t touch the Empress Dowager at all.
Li Ying hesitated. At this moment, she realized more deeply that she was already dead. She was a ghost. She could never accompany her mother again.
Li Ying was heartbroken to the extreme. She called out desperately: “Mother… Mother…”
“Ming Yuezhu misses you so much…”
“Mother…”
The Empress Dowager gently stroked the tree trunk, as if stroking the trunk was like stroking Li Ying’s tender palm when she was five. Perhaps it was the connection between mother and daughter; she suddenly said softly, “Ming Yuezhu, do you miss Mother very much?”
“Mother misses you, too.”
“You were so sensible and thoughtful. When Mother had headaches, you studied medicine and made sachets to relieve the pain. When Mother was at odds with the Empress, you learned the art of tea to brew tea for Mother, to bring a smile to Mother’s face. But with such a thoughtful heart, how could you bear to leave Mother behind?”
“Ming Yuezhu, Mother’s heart is breaking. You’ve torn Mother’s heart and intestines apart with pain.”
“Ming Yuezhu, my daughter, Ming Yuezhu…”
The Empress Dowager of the Great Zhou, at Famen Temple, stroked the bodhi tree trunk and wept bitterly, mourning her daughter who had died young. And her daughter’s soul, kneeling before her, also covered her face and wept.
From a distance, Cui Xun watched all of this with pursed lips. Mother and daughter, longing for each other but separated by life and death, never to meet again. At this moment, they were not the high and mighty Empress Dowager and Princess of the Great Zhou, but merely a mother who had lost her child and a daughter who missed her mother. In Cui Xun’s eyes flashed a trace of emotion that was barely perceptible, but this emotion lasted only an instant. He slowly closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, his gaze had returned to its usual coolness and indifference.