Because I had been drinking continuously for several days, and on this last day mixed many kinds of alcohol together.
It was one of the rare times I got really drunk. Coming out from Sister Shen’s club, I felt like I was staggering with every three steps. When hailing a cab, my hands kept shaking, seeing double.
I had also brought that little top student out. He was tactful and understanding, supporting me and asking, “Jie, where do you live? I’ll take you back?”
I said, “No need… you go back to school… remember, if anyone asks, just say you went back to the hotel with me tonight, okay?”
He nodded. He really was a smart kid, no need for extra words.
I understood the rules of this world very clearly—sometimes you have to let loose to enter certain circles.
For example, if I had enjoyed this handsome young man tonight, then Sister Shen and my relationship would advance further.
Because we would share a secret, and also share the worldview of carpe diem.
But I still didn’t want to be like that.
I remember when I was a newcomer, the way those in power looked at me—I had to mobilize every brain cell to disguise the disgust and contempt I felt from the bottom of my heart.
Cheng Xia once told me something: You fought them for so long, but in the end became just like them. There is no ideal in this world worth such degradation.
I hadn’t read that book, but I knew it must have been written by a learned person. They could always write out feelings I couldn’t express.
At any time, I didn’t want to become the kind of person I found disgusting.
I staggered off the taxi in three wobbly steps, almost falling on the hotel steps. Someone came out of nowhere to support me, asking, “How much did you drink? Do you have a death wish?”
I struggled to open my drunk eyes to identify him. Oh, it was that little top student. Hadn’t he left? Why did he come back?
“None of your business, go away, go—” I shooed him away in confusion.
He didn’t leave, directly pulling me into the hotel. I struggled for a while but couldn’t overcome the dizziness in my brain, so I closed my eyes for a moment.
When I opened my eyes again, I was already in the hotel room.
That little top student was taking off my shoes.
“What are you doing!” I kicked him away: “I’m telling you, don’t come over, I, I have a husband!”
“What nonsense are you talking!” For some reason he seemed quite righteous, shouting at me: “Lie down!”
I don’t waste words with criminals. I directly called the police. Holding my phone I said, “Hello, police? I was brought to a hotel by a strange man, and he’s taking off my clothes!”
He just stood there watching me make the call, not stopping me.
After calling for a long time, I realized my phone was dead, the screen had long gone black.
I could only sheepishly put down the phone. Inside my head it felt like a hundred airplanes were roaring.
He came over again, brought me a glass of water to rinse my mouth, then brought a wet face towel for me to wipe my face. It was very cool, making me grimace.
At this moment, my phone finally charged and turned on. I picked it up but forgot what I wanted to do, just scrolling randomly, and happened to scroll to a photo of Zhou Ting and me.
It was from when we went out together once, he had taken it with my phone.
I held it up to show that little top student: “This is my husband, you still don’t believe me… I’m telling you, people call him the Northeast Wolf, someone like you, he could punch ten with one fist!”
For some reason, he stood there quietly for a long time before saying, “Do you really like him?”
“Of course.”
I treasured the phone against my chest and even kissed it: “He said he’s liked me for a long time… someone like me, there’s actually someone who likes me…”
“I like you too.” He smiled bitterly and said, “I like you so much I’ve become neurotic. Can’t you just try to look at me again?”
I looked at him sideways. His appearance finally came into focus in my vision—jet black hair, camel-colored sweater, a gentle and clean face, clearly smiling yet carrying sadness.
I smiled. It was a face I had liked for many, many years.
“Being together would only bring us pain, no matter how many times we try, it’s the same.” I said seriously, word by word: “Because we’re from two different worlds.”
I closed my eyes. A physiological tear slowly flowed down from the corner of my eye.
The world swayed, finally falling into gentle darkness.
When I woke up the next day, it was already noon.
My head was splitting with pain, my mouth dry as a desert. Eyes closed, I reached for water but didn’t find any.
Someone helped me sit up, tucking a cup to my lips. It was cool, gentle Longjing tea.
“Thank… who the fuck are you!” I shrieked like a rooster crowing in alarm.
“Who do you think I am?”
I finally became completely awake. Before me was actually Cheng Xia, alive and in the flesh, wearing a white athletic outfit, calmly drinking tea.
And I, under the covers, was only wearing a camisole!
“Why are you here!” I was so shocked my eyeballs almost fell out.
Cheng Xia said irritably, “Yesterday I sent you a WeChat message, you told me your address, so I came over. Good grief, your phone just wouldn’t connect!”
“So…”
“So I waited at the door, finally waited until you this drunkard came back.” He said, “Why did you drink so much for no reason?”
He was genuinely a bit angry. I felt guilty, but this wasn’t the fucking time to feel guilty!