My grandma still found out about her condition.
It was also my fault for being cheap—I notified my dad about this. In Grandma’s heart there were only two people total: me and my dad.
As a result, he flew into a rage, roaring and making a scene in the hospital corridor:
“Do you have any brains! She’s so old and you’re making her have surgery! She won’t even make it off the operating table!”
“I already asked around—this disease can’t be cured at all. It’s just burning through money!”
“She’s already so old! Aren’t you just making her suffer for nothing!”
I said: “First, the doctor said her physical condition can handle surgery. Second, I have money. I can afford it.”
Grandma was in the hospital room, her face pale, shrinking into herself.
I walked in, held her hand, and said: “I’m telling you two things. First, I have several million in my hands. If you pull through, we’ll spend it all we want. Second, I’m not leaving. I’ll stay with you. Do you want to see me get married? Do you want to see your great-grandchild? If you do, then let’s get through this hurdle.”
Grandma remained listless and didn’t say a word.
When I went out, Yu Shixuan was standing by the window. The new spring greenery made her face look like peach blossoms, but her words were quite hurtful.
She said: “Even a three-year-old knows how to choose. You’re really too stupid, Ren Dongxue.”
I walked over, rested my head on her shoulder, and said: “Shut up. Let me rest for a bit.”
Actually, I was completely out of options.
How should I put it? This world gives poor people only this many choices.
Grandma ultimately still chose to have the surgery.
Before entering the operating room, her withered hand grabbed mine and said: “Xue, you need to get married. Find a good person.”
“When you come out, I’ll get married.” I said.
She grabbed my dad again and said: “Don’t let your heart grow crooked. Xue is also your daughter. If you don’t feel sorry for her, who can she count on to feel sorry for her?”
My dad’s eyes reddened and he said: “Mom, don’t worry.”
I watched as she was wheeled into the operating room, then suddenly broke into loud crying, tears and snot flowing, with no regard for appearance.
“Grandma—”
“Grandma—”
My heart-wrenching cries echoed through the entire corridor. My dad held me back saying: “You’re wailing like at a funeral. Stop crying. It’s bad luck.”
I knew that too, but I couldn’t not cry.
But it hurt too much. I didn’t know how to swallow this enormous sense of grievance and pain.
The surgery was successful.
What this meant was that she didn’t die on the operating table and the diseased tissue was successfully removed.
However, once it metastasized, these hundreds of thousands would be equivalent to throwing money away.
Beijing had no hospital beds. She could return to a local hospital for treatment. She could go home.
“Where are we going back to?” She was still weak, asking drowsily.
“Where do you want to go back to?”
“I… want to go back to my hometown.”
“Then we’ll go back to your hometown.”
We returned to the Northeast. Grandma’s old rundown apartment had long been sold. My dad couldn’t possibly let us stay with him. So I rented a place for one thousand yuan a month with a small courtyard.
My dad asked: “You should go to work too. I’ll take care of your grandma. You give me six hundred yuan a month.”
This wasn’t asking for much money, but I still didn’t give it.
I said: “No need. I’ll take care of her myself.”
After all, I had resigned.
My dad’s eyes went round as saucers: “What did you say? You resigned from such a good job?”
He scolded me for a full hour, then slammed the door and left.
Those were dim and dark days.
The smell of medicinal plaster, old person smell, stuffy air smell, disinfectant smell…
And night after night, Grandma couldn’t sleep from the pain, unconsciously moaning, the sound infinitely amplified in my eardrums.
After the final checkup, she could finally be discharged.
Every day I fed her a big handful of medicine, helped her massage her body, personally cooked meals for her, took her to walk little by little in the courtyard.
Sunlight shone on her pallid face. Passersby said: “Old lady, your granddaughter is so good to you!”
A bit of rosiness would appear on her face: “Me, I’m blessed!”
In summer, the courtyard grew full of weeds, lush and verdant. I bought a large vat, raised koi fish and lotus flowers for Grandma to look at and enjoy.
She smiled and said: “This courtyard is nice. When I get better next year, I’ll fix it up properly.”