And what was Eva suggesting?
She wanted to completely remove River from Johnny's life. If he did not have her company from middle school onward, he would be driven by his subconscious to join the space agency and strive to become an astronaut. With that motivation, the memory machine could synchronize with Johnny's brain to construct a brand new life, one without regrets, where he eventually achieves his goal of going to the moon.
But would such a life have any meaning?
Johnny's purpose for going to the moon was the subconscious belief that he would find River there. To strip her away from his life just to fulfill the technicality of the wish seemed like sacrificing the soul of the dream for the sake of the result.
In the novel, Neil got into a fierce argument with Eva over this. They were merely employees of the company, and the old man's wish was to go to the moon, so they should fulfill it. Whether a life without River would be more painful for Johnny was a secondary concern to Eva, who felt bound by the terms of the contract.
Neil refused to agree. He even went as far as to battle Eva within the memory world for control of the machine to stop her.
But in the end, Neil failed.
At this point, Juna could no longer stop her tears from falling.
How could the author do this? They were already at chapter nine, and yet Shiori Takahashi was still twisting the knife. How could he have the heart to let Johnny lose the memories of the decades he spent together with River? What would going to the moon even mean to Johnny after that?
Eva gained control and began the process of systematically deleting every trace of River from Johnny's mind.
Haruto used incredibly detailed prose to describe this sequence. During their middle school years, when Johnny and River were supposed to meet, River's presence was hidden. The two of them passed each other by, becoming total strangers.
During their first date at the cinema, River was made to vanish. When River and Johnny were supposed to be riding horses together, she was removed from the scene. What would Johnny's life become without her there to accompany him?
Finally, in a high school classroom, a teacher asked Johnny a question for the first time in this new timeline.
What is your dream for the future?
I want to be an astronaut, Johnny replied with firm conviction.
Juna sobbed. She had thought that chapter eight was the peak of the emotional pain, but seeing this new life constructed by the memory machine was almost unbearable.
According to the rules of the story, the machine was only a tool.
The way the new memories were formed was still guided by Johnny's own subconscious. Because River was gone, his subconscious was desperate to find her on the moon, which is why he studied so hard and became an astronaut in this artificial life.
If chapter eight was a testament to River's lifelong love for Johnny, showing how she stayed by his side even when she could not express her feelings, then chapter nine depicted the depth of Johnny's love for her. Even in a world where his memories were being rewritten, there was never a single moment where he was not searching for the her that no longer existed.
In this new timeline, River had been missing from Johnny's life for over ten years. He had no conscious memory of his childhood. Yet, in the depths of his soul, the promise to meet on the moon remained. It drove him to work tirelessly from middle school onward toward the goal of space travel.
The memory of marrying River, of making a home on the coastline, of dancing with her in front of the lighthouse on the night before their wedding; all of it was gone. The promise to build a house to watch over the lighthouse together was erased. Every fragment of the decades they shared was removed, leaving behind only a vast emptiness and a determination to reach the moon that grew stronger with every passing year.
What was on the moon? He did not know.
Why did he want to go there? He did not know that either.
However, he felt that he absolutely had to do it. Even if he remembered nothing, even if these were just altered memories, the promise to the girl stayed with him. The vow that they would find each other on the moon if they were ever lost was something Johnny could forget on a mental level, but he could never forget it on a spiritual one.
Humans only forget how to breathe when they die, for breathing is an instinct. This love had become his instinct.
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