“I need to find a way to resolve this knot in my heart, to vent this bitter anger.”
Yu Lingxi made up her mind.
If she didn’t resolve this concern about Ning Yin, it would become her obsession, haunting her with nightmares every night, and leaving her soul restless.
Outside the window, the sky was faintly brightening, while the gauze lamp cast a dim, warm glow.
Unable to sleep anyway, Yu Lingxi simply put on her robe and got out of bed. She blew a breath into her palm to warm her hands, then picked up a fine sheepskin brush.
She tucked the strands of jet-black hair hanging by her temples behind her ears, thought seriously for a moment, and then began writing with flowing ease.
Since she was settling accounts between herself and Ning Yin, she must be fair and rational—not overlooking any of his crimes, but also not taking advantage of him.
Ning Yin frightened her during the day and bullied her at night.
But he had never mistreated her in terms of food, clothing, or shelter, giving her accommodations of the highest standard, no less than those in the imperial palace.
Ning Yin had wiped out her uncle’s entire family and exiled all the Yu clan’s branch members.
But her uncle’s family had failed her mother’s dying entrustment, casually giving her away as a gift, embezzling, and being consumed by greed—all facts. When the Yu Lingxi mother and daughter were at their lowest, not one of the Yu clan’s branch members had extended a helping hand, so she had no reason to seek justice for them.
Yu Lingxi weighed this for a long time, pausing her brush, which soaked a splash of ink onto the paper.
After writing several points, she found that the man she once thought beyond redemption, whose crimes could not be listed even if all the bamboo in the world were used as writing slips, didn’t seem as hateful as she had imagined.
To speak of hatred, his crimes didn’t warrant death; to speak of resentment, the resentment was difficult to dispel.
In her previous life, Ning Yin had once sneered at her: “You truly are a good person, but the hardest thing in the world is to be a good person, carrying the burden of so many constraints—you live less freely than an evil person like me.”
Even now, she had never thought of killing anyone, even the current Ning Yin, just a lowly youth in the Immortal City of Desire who could not see the light of day.
Morning light shone through the window lattice as the candle burned to its end and extinguished with a soft hiss.
After weighing matters for a long while, Yu Lingxi simply slapped her brush down on the desk, splattering a few spots of dried ink.
She thought with a snort: “Regardless, his torture of Xue Cen was real, and his causing my death without a peaceful end was also real.”
These two wicked deeds could not be offset by anything.
“Young miss, why are you already up?”
Hu Tao lifted the gauze curtain and entered, hastily setting down the tea tray on the desk and wrapping a fox fur around her delicate, slender shoulders. “Sitting like this in just a robe will make you catch cold!”
“It’s fine, just clearing my head.”
Hu Tao couldn’t read, but Yu Lingxi still quickly placed the paper filled with writing under some books.
Soon after, seven or eight young maids entered in succession, carrying silver basins, combs, and other items to help Yu Lingxi wash and change.
On the tray were two sets of clothes, one silver-red and one light green. Hu Tao smiled and said: “Both are newly tailored winter clothes, so beautiful! Which would young miss like to wear today?”
Yu Lingxi glanced at them absentmindedly and instinctively said: “The red one…”
Then she paused, her beautiful brows furrowing.
Ning Yin had always loved extravagant colors, the more blood-red the better. In her previous life, Yu Lingxi had catered to his preferences, often wearing bright, gorgeous clothes, which became a habit over time.
This was not a good habit.
Yu Lingxi didn’t know who she was defying as she calmly changed her mind: “The green one.”
Hu Tao didn’t know why the young miss was suddenly upset for no reason but obediently brought over the green outfit.
“Young miss doesn’t look well, had another nightmare?” Hu Tao tied a moon-white silk waistband around Yu Lingxi, her slender waist making even another woman blush at the sight.
Yu Lingxi yawned, saying lazily: “My fate is troubled by petty people, I’m feeling vexed.”
“That’s easy!”
Hu Tao smoothed out her sleeves and whispered: “This servant knows a folk method—you write down the appearance or birth date of those troublesome people on a piece of paper, then slap it hard to drive them away. Wouldn’t that work?”
“Slap?”
Yu Lingxi paused, looking up. “That’s one way.”
Now I hold the knife while he’s on the chopping board—if I want to vent my anger, why consider propriety and morality?
After weighing so many options, why not choose the simplest path?
When the time comes, throw a sack over him, beat him up, and slip away—bridges return to bridges, roads return to roads, and our grievances will be settled.
The anger in her heart seemed to dissipate at once, as the day brightened.
Yu Lingxi raised her lips and ordered: “Go call Guard Qing Xiao, I have important matters to instruct.”
An hour later.
Hu Tao reported from outside the door: “Young miss, Guard Qing Xiao has made all preparations and is waiting outside.”
Yu Lingxi nodded, pacing around the room, then took down a small gold-braided horse whip hanging on the wall.
Testing its weight in her hand, perfect for beating someone, she tucked it into her belt, mustered her courage, and stepped out.
At the side gate of the General’s mansion, where pines and cypresses remained evergreen, Qing Xiao was indeed waiting by the carriage with four tall and strong guards.
These guards had been selected from the Yu family’s army, skilled in combat and tight-lipped, always following orders without asking reasons.
Yu Lingxi, her face hidden by a veiled hat, inspected each one and asked: “Do you know what I’m asking you to do?”