Lith and Yurial sat down in silence, waiting for the others to arrive. The more Yurial thought about his previous outburst, the more it appeared childish and ridiculous.
- "Lith is right, we were never friends. It was just an assumption I made on my own. We shared hardships and schoolwork, but I never once cared for his life outside the academy. Some friend I am."–
When Friya saw Lith, the temperature in the room dropped by several degrees. She didn't yell or attack him, choosing instead to sit as far away as possible.
Lith didn't cut her any slack, repeating the same speech he had given Yurial, making her turn red from anger first and pale at the realization of how shallow their relationship was.
When the group was gathered, he could finally start.
"Let me introduce myself properly. Hi, I'm Lith and I'm a murderer." At those words, the room turned awkwardly silent.
"I want to tell you a story. Your background checks are wrong, I didn't kill my first man when I was six, but when I was only four."
Lith couldn't tell them how he had killed his father on Earth, so he needed to mix two truths to make a half lie.
"Back then, life was terrible for me. I was always starving, so I ran in the woods whenever I could behind my parents' back and I hunted using magic. What no one knows, not even my family, is that I wasn't alone.
There was a poacher, an obnoxious, violent man that stole my game whenever we met and gave me a complimentary beating every single time. I couldn't tell anyone. I was too ashamed of my weakness and afraid my parents would lock me in the house, so I made up excuses to keep them from discovering the truth and keep hunting.
I endured it for months, until one day I managed to catch a few white rabbits. With their meat and pelts my family would have been well fed and clothed, allowing even my ill sister to take a walk from time to time.
Too bad the poacher found me again, robbing me of my prey again. What he didn't know was that we weren't alone. A magical beast had been following me too and when he walked away from me, I decided not to warn him."
Lith's eyes became watery thinking back at his father, at how much he had to suffer before those wet stairs did the dirty work for him.
"While the beast devoured him, I didn't call for help nor did I attempt to drive it away. I just took back my game and stood watch to make sure that the poacher would never harm me ever again.
I may have not killed him directly, but I consider him my first victim."
Seeing all his friends sniffling with watery eyes, Lith shook his head.
"I'm not trying to belittle your suffering. This is not a measuring contest about who had it rougher. I just want you to know me, the real me, before giving you an unsolicited piece of advice."
He took a deep breath, watching each of them in the eyes.
"Friya, Yurial, you too have killed someone. Maybe because you felt pressured by the academy or simply because after killing so many monsters it seemed the right thing to do, it's not up to me to judge.
Phloria, Quylla, sooner or later you'll kill someone too, either out of self-defence or because it's your duty. When that moment comes, please remember my words.
Life is a cruel crucible that breaks us apart over and over, forcing us to put the pieces back together. Sometimes we come out of it stronger, sometimes weaker and most of the times there's so little we can do about it.
Failure is not falling down, it's not getting up. I couldn't share my burden with anyone. How could I say to my brother, to my family, that our happiness was built on the death of another man?"
"You are not like me. You have a lot of people that care for you, that know of your struggle and are willing to help. I don't know how long it will take for you to recover, but you don't have to face this alone.
Instead of walling everyone out like I did, try to accept the hands they are offering to you. Otherwise you'll end up like me, and believe me when I say it's not pretty at all. I am missing so many pieces, I'm mixed with so much sh*t that I barely feel human anymore.
Do whatever you want with your lives, but remember that today I gave you a part of me and a choice. A choice I never had."