Golden hair like fine threads clung like cobwebs to her pale face and nape, as though she had never once been touched by sunlight in her life.
He reached out to remove it, then lowered his arm again.
Lately, she had not been able to sleep deeply. Afraid he might disturb her rest, he merely gestured with his chin for the maid to leave. The young maid, nervously watching his expression, carefully left the bedroom.
Varkas walked to the fireplace and placed a mana stone upon the wavering flames. Then he removed his outerwear and tossed it aside carelessly before filling a basin with water to wash his hands.
Behind him, he heard a voice faint enough to vanish.
“How long......”
Turning his head over his shoulder, Varkas found his wife staring blankly at him and furrowed his brow.
The woman, worrying at lips where dried blood had crusted, forced out the rest in a voice that sounded as though it might crumble apart.
“How long do you intend to keep clinging to my side?”
He had to waste several seconds understanding what her words meant.
Picking up a towel, he answered with utter calm, as though she had asked something entirely trivial.
“Until you get better.”
A sound like leaking air slipped from the mouth of the woman staring blankly at him.
“You want me to get better?”
Recognizing the cynicism in those words, Varkas quietly looked down at her.
The woman, with a bleak smile cut across her lips, sent him a gaze like broken shards of glass.
Yet because of her wet eyes, she only looked hollow and pitiful.
Without even realizing what expression she was making, the woman poured out vicious words.
“But what should I do? As long as you remain beside me, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get better......”
Her thorned voice scraped past somewhere inside his body.
But that stinging sensation failed to reach his dulled consciousness and scattered like smoke.
Following that faint sensation, Varkas slowly closed and opened his eyes.
There was no need to dwell on words she was simply spilling at random. This woman merely needed an outlet for her emotions.
Repeating that inwardly, he was about to turn away as though nothing had happened when his lips, having slipped beyond the control of reason, let out a dry question.
“Why......”
The woman looked at him with dazed eyes.
Without understanding what he himself was asking, he moved his lips.
“Why can you not get better if I am here?”
For a moment, the woman looked as though she had forgotten what to say.
Then her face twisted faintly.
Soon after came a strained breath, as though she were coughing up something lodged in her throat.
“Looking at you hurts.”
In that instant, every thought stopped moving.
Those deep blue eyes that had ruled one corner of his consciousness for so many years seemed to drive him into a deep, dark place.
“So let’s stop now.”
She continued as though murmuring to herself.
“Anywhere is fine. Send me somewhere I can’t see you. I...... want to forget everything now.”
He remained frozen like a stone statue for only a moment before roughly tugging at his collar like a man being strangled.
Those lips had always spoken endless words she did not mean. They were not worth listening to.
Pulling open the buttons of his shirt, Varkas said coldly,
“You cannot go anywhere.”
At the voice that came out rougher than he had intended, a shadow of fear passed over her face.
Ordinarily, he would have thought of some way to erase it.
But now, he had no desire to soothe her.
He wanted this woman to be afraid.
So that she would never again dare make such a request aloud.