It was as if he started viewing reality in black and white instead of color. Everything seemed more lifeless and pointless in his consciousness.
Why did he enjoy designing mechs?
Why was he in a relationship with a Hexer?
Why did he reject the olive branch offered by the Friday Coalition?
Why did he recklessly attempt to hijack the Scarlet Rose?
If he was the Ves of before, then he would have just bulled through his doubts with his passion and conviction!
Yet now, he couldn't help but doubt his decisions. His lack of feelings skewed his judgement, causing him to lean away from his empty heart!
He couldn't help but be reminded of Patricia's description of rational mech designers.
Had Ves inadvertently turned himself into a rational mech designer?
"The description fits.."
Rational mech designers did not necessarily like designing mechs. They had to find conscious reasons to engage in their profession!
They also suppressed their feelings and emotions in order to stay as rational as possible!
Right now, that seemed to describe his current condition!
"I have to get a handle on this strange state! Regardless of what I think, I have to see my decisions through the end!"
Instead of doubting his prior decisions, Ves decided that he should stick to his original will and ignore his doubts.
Regardless whether he made the right decisions or not, quitting halfway would not lead to good results!
"This is just a temporary state." He reassured himself. "In less than two weeks, I'll be back to normal. I'll thank myself for staying true to myself in this low period."
After he finished inspecting his mental condition, he turned his attention elsewhere. He blinked his eyes and viewed his surroundings.
The infirmary looked the same as always. No one moved him while he was out like a light.
It was impossible for someone to sneak onto the Scarlet Rose when she was still in FTL.
While there was a chance that some crew member survived the massacre, with Lucky on patrol they wouldn't be able to stay alive for long!
"Lucky. Where are you?"
His cat was absent, which concerned him a bit. Due to his muted emotions, his paranoia and perpetual worries weren't as strong as they used to. Ves felt.. much more inclined to trust in his probability analysis.
The chance that Lucky encountered a setback or that some survivor managed to regain control of the ship was very small!
"Well, before my new ship exits FTL, I have to make sure I complete the takeover of her systems!"
It took several minutes for him to crawl out of the machine. Because his treatment lasted too short, his body was still too weak!
Even now, he didn't even possess the ability to walk!
The only way for him to move around the ship was by relying on a floating chair. The infirmary had plenty of them on hand. As soon as Ves activated one of them, he was able to rest his worn-out muscles and command the chair to move by gesturing with his fingers.
The chair actually provided him with an option to control it with his thoughts, but with his mind ajar, Ves did not dare to resort to this option!
Once he left the infirmary, his first priority was finding Lucky.
In order to call him back, Ves explored the settings of his floating chair and found a transmitter.
[LUCKY! MEET ME AT THE BRIDGE!]
After broadcasting this message through the loudspeakers and a short-ranged transmission, Ves commanded the chair to move him to the bridge.
Once he reached his destination, Lucky playfully phased through the ceiling and landed on his lap.
"Meow meow."
Ves narrowed his eyes at his cat in suspicion. Unlike him, Lucky looked anything but weary!
"Did you sneak into the material stores and eat the exotics reserved for repairing the mechs?"
"Meow~"
Lucky innocently looked up at him while swishing his tail with supreme contentment.
Due to his muted emotions, Ves did not feel very angry about Lucky's actions. The ship didn't belong to him in the first place.
From a logical perspective, he hadn't lost anything. He just gained less than he expected.
In any case, as long as Lucky grew stronger, Ves did not mind if his cat gorged his stomach to bursting!
"Whatever. Help me gain complete authority over the ship."
His goal was to usurp the position of captain of the ship. This was not something that could be done with an automated hack!
Ves had to make full use of Lucky's CFA-derived hacking suite to navigate the Scarlet Rose's core command systems.
However, with no virtual security expert opposing his blatant actions, he slowly made progress until he finally made the Scarlet Rose acknowledge him as captain!
"Finally."
Unfortunately, his earlier sabotage worked against him. Unless he undid some of his tampering, he wouldn't be able to exert full control over the ship!
Even then, there was always the chance that the security systems would recognize that he wasn't actually the captain! He needed to make sure that the operating system did not contain any hidden safeguards or backup functions that forcibly robbed him of his command authority!
"This is going to take a lot of time."