How should I, in the twenty-first century, pursue a woman who once shared decades with me in the Great Ming Dynasty?
Our mindsets are inevitably different.
She once told me that because she knew history’s outcome, her existence in the Ming Dynasty was born of despair.
Yet when those words “born of despair” came from her lips, they didn’t carry much weight. Just like her usual way of handling life, she always made heavy things seem light. She never let anyone see her exhaustion, constantly giving me vibrant energy.
Now, I want to repay those words “born of despair.”
So, Wan Wan, it’s fine if you’ve forgotten me. Live happily and confidently in the twenty-first century, and let me be the one to find you.
But what should I do after finding you?
My recovery from the fracture surgery took longer than I expected. By the time I could move freely, it was nearly April. I took the initiative to request a transfer to the long-term project in Chengdu. They were chronically short-staffed there, so when I asked, the institute agreed immediately.
While I was packing at home, my mother kept hesitating to speak several times throughout the evening.
Crouching beside the bed folding shirts, I asked her, “Mom, what do you want to say?”
My mother sat down beside me and said, “Who will take care of you so far away?”
I put the shirt in the suitcase and looked up at her, “There’s someone I want to take care of in Chengdu.”
My mother froze for a moment, then immediately smiled, lowering her voice to ask, “Are you dating?”
I shook my head, “Not yet. She’s wonderful, but I don’t know how to pursue her.”
My mother slapped the bed, “I told you your personality wouldn’t appeal to girls. Always so quiet and reserved.”
I nodded, smiling as I responded, “Yes.”
My mother raised her voice to call outside, “Old Deng…”
My father was washing dishes in the kitchen. He wiped his hands as he walked into my room asking, “What is it?”
My mother clicked her tongue and patted the bed, “Come sit down.”
Seeing my mother’s serious demeanor, my father thought he’d done something wrong and nervously sat across from her, “What… what’s wrong?”
“Our son has someone he likes.”
“Oh really, is that so?”
I nodded, “Yes.”
My father hurriedly took off his apron, “That’s wonderful, when will you bring her home? I’ll cook something special.”
My mother interrupted, “Bring her home? Your son is so clueless, he doesn’t even know how to pursue her.”
“Then… then I…”
“You’re his father, you need to teach him. How did you pursue me back then? Tell him properly.”
My father looked embarrassed, “These young people nowadays, how can it be the same as our time? Come on, if you’re not embarrassed, I still am. I’m going back to wash the dishes.”
So some topics are perhaps best discussed between father and son late at night, with two cigarettes lit in the darkness.
That night after the lights were out, my father came to my room with his lighter, offering me a box of his own cigarettes.
“Here, Yunyans.”
I didn’t take them, “Dad, you know I don’t smoke.”
“Then let’s open some beer.”
“Alright.”
I went to get a can of beer from the refrigerator and stood with my father on the balcony.
The early summer breeze felt comfortable. I opened the beer and took a sip, about to speak when my father beat me to it.
“All these years you’ve buried yourself in work, turning down everyone we tried to introduce. Did you already have someone you liked?”
Holding the beer, I nodded. “Yes, I liked her since I was very young, but then she left, and I didn’t know where to find her.”
“You found her in Chengdu?”
“Yes.”
“Ah…”
My father sighed.
I couldn’t help but smile, turning to ask him, “Dad, what are you sighing about?”
My father shook his head, “Thirty years old and just starting to pursue a girl, you’re starting late.”
That was very honest.
I took another sip of beer, “Yes, it’s late. I know that myself.”
My father patted my shoulder, “Let Dad give you some advice, listen carefully.”
He put out his cigarette and seriously said to me, “First, don’t be stingy. Whatever the girl likes, whether you approve or think it’s necessary or not, buy it and give it to her as a gift.”
I nodded, listening intently.
My father tapped the balcony railing as he continued, “Second, listen to what the girl says. Whatever she wants you to wear, wear it. Whatever she wants to eat, eat it. Wherever she wants to go, go there. I can see you’re not one for fun, but young girls nowadays aren’t like you, staying home reading books. When she wants to take you out, you absolutely can’t be lazy. If you don’t know how to have fun, learn. Your father didn’t know how to dance before, but look now – your mother can’t even outdance me anymore.”