Cocooned in a mound of blankets, Xia Ruyun kept only her face exposed to her apartment’s stale, bone-freezing air. Under her blankets sat two hot water packs, and they acted as the coils to her makeshift self-toaster setup. She languished in the warmth. With only a half-bright laptop to illuminate the darkness, her eyes reflected the flashy scenes displayed on the screen.
A woman’s figure blurred as she waved her sword and deflected a wave of arrows. She rushed forward with fast steps and stabbed her sword through the opponent, an arc of black blood splashing against the ground.
[Did you honestly think you stood a chance against me?]
[Of course not...]
[Then, why?! Why did you attack?! Why did you massacre that tribe? Was it just to get my attention?]
[... That’s exactly why. Think a little harder, with you out here, who’s going to protect your precious senior brother?]
A hand wormed out from under the covers.
Click.
Xia Ruyun closed the player and lowered the laptop’s lid to turn it off. Now back in suffocating darkness, she sat there for a few long breaths before a sigh slipped out of her mouth. Kept company by her two hot water packs, she slumped over on her side and splayed across the bed. Replaying the valiant fight scene in her head, she paused on the female lead’s face. A couple of slow blinks later, she couldn’t help but whisper to herself while staring into the darkness. “I hope she’s still well...”
As the statement left her mouth, she pulled the blanket tighter around herself. Curled up in the center of her bed, she grabbed a couple of pillows, resting her head on one and wrapping her arms around the other. Pressing her eyes closed, she hugged the pillow close as sleep cast its lulling spell over her.
Minutes passed and, before long, her breaths evened out. Unbeknownst to the now-sleeping Xia Ruyun, her phone buzzed to life on her nightstand. Lit with messages, the phone cast a dim shadow over the room with each new notification. Each message, labeled as sent from [Gao Qian], sat on her phone for a lonesome half-minute before the screen darkened once more.
---
Roused awake by the faint slit of sun peeking through her curtains, Xia Ruyun cracked her eyes open and demonstrated an impressive feat of flexibility through her morning stretch routine. Tossing and turning, she tried her best to fall asleep once more with... little success. Giving up, she laid in bed for a couple more minutes while sinking into her thoughts.
The sound of her empty breaths filled the room during these few slow minutes before being drowned out by the rustling of blankets. Her thin hand reached out to grab her phone. Her fingernail grazed the nightstand as she pulled the phone back towards herself. Reading through the messages from the night before, she pushed herself upright with an inaudible groan.
Her manager had messaged her again.
[Hello Xia Ruyun, hope you are still doing well.]
[I know it’s already been three months again, but I just wanted to reach out.]
[I found another role you might be interested in. Do you want me to sign you up for the audition?]
Bleh. What a bother.
She wanted to turn Gao Qian down. The question was... How? How would she turn down Gao Qian this time?
She had to admit, she admired Gao Qian’s dedication as an manager. Three years had already passed since her withdrawal from the entertainment industry; yet, even now, every few months Gao Qian would check in on her and ask if she wanted to return.
What was so special about her anyway? Did the entertainment industry miss her that much? Did those singing awards make her that important?
Probably... Eugh... it’s those stupid awards, it’s definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, those useless hunks of metal.
What a hassle.
Singing wasn’t even the same as acting! It was just the platform those awards had given her...
Though, it wasn’t as if she didn’t have residual fondness still swimming in her heart. At times, she still yearned to see herself at the center of a concert stage or cinema screen.
But... that was the past.
Typing out a [No, thank you], Xia Ruyun hit send and tossed her phone onto her bed. Satisfied, she ran a hand through her waist-length hair and put on a pair of slippers before stepping over some long-emptied crates of cup noodles to make her way to the restroom.
The door closed behind her with a “click” and, after the muffled sound of a flushing toilet, the cascading rhythm of the running shower slipped its way through the crack between the door and its frame.
Refreshed after her quick wash, she walked back out wrapped in a towel. Avoiding—and ignoring—the mess on the ground, she returned to her bedroom with a warm cup of water in hand. She placed the cup of warm water onto her nightstand, and, with an unceremonious flop, returned to bed.
Not even a second later though, she felt her phone vibrate as she pulled her blankets back over herself. Spending another minute to get back under her blankets, she snuggled up against a couple pillows before looking at her phone and the new stream of messages from Gao Qian.
[Are you sure?]
[I think this role is very suited for you right now.]
[It’s neither too important nor an extra role. It’s a supporting lead role.]
[That said, this one is quite special. Very special, in fact.]
[When looking for roles, I’ve been considerate of your situation. I know you don’t trust your voice anymore after what happened three years ago, but even at the supporting role level there’s still a lot of dialogue. This one though, is probably an opportunity that won’t come by again.]
[The role is a primarily mute character who only has a couple of dialogue lines throughout the entire show. The vast majority of this role’s scenes consist of body language–focused acting.]
Hesitant, Xia Ruyun’s fingers froze over her phone’s keyboard. Her interest was piqued, and it wasn’t as if she hadn’t considered going back to the industry...
But... the prospect of it was daunting.
As the thoughts and memories began flooding back in, she felt her heart sink and drop to her stomach. Swiping her thumb upward, she moved the texts away before tears could fall.
A pang of guilt struck at her heart.
Her fingers twitched, and after a couple deep breaths, she reopened the message log.
A single scroll through the message log revealed her list of [No, thank you]’s stretching all the way back to three years ago. Each time Gao Qian messaged her, it had been met with a single reply. Gao Qian really... cared.
This time, she even followed up after the refusal too.
It did hurt her to say no so many times...
Maybe I could? It’s... a smaller role after all.
And it fits me well?
Maybe?
Just maybe it’d be worth a shot at the audition?
... What if it’s different this time?
Tossing her phone aside, she decided to reply to the message later.
---
Ignoring the afternoon sun’s glare through the window, Gao Qian typed away at her keyboard. Xia Ruyun hadn’t replied to her latest text for over six hours now. After glancing over, she sighed.
Is she even going to reply?
Her phone sat beside her, quiet and still. Earlier, it had sprung to life with a stream of messages, but they had been from a different actress.
Is this the end?
She had to be pragmatic and, at some point, the company needed to cut ties with Xia Ruyun. The two ‘Golden Singer of the Year’ awards and the ‘Phoenix Award for Best Supporting Actress' didn't mean anything if she wasn’t active.
What to do?
Another sigh later, Gao Qian leaned back into her seat. Halfway into her stretch though, as if to answer her worries, her phone’s screen lit up with a message from Xia Ruyun.
[I’ll do it.]