Gao Qian leapt out of her chair. Grabbing her phone as the chair rolled back with a clatter, she took a second to compose a message and send it off to Xia Ruyun before rushing off. Her coworkers' gazes flooded in from all sides, but she didn’t care. “Boss needs to hear about this development!”
One hasty conversation later, she bolted back to her desk. Earlier, she had asked Xia Ruyun to sit tight, but now was not the time to leave her waiting for any longer than a couple of minutes. What if Xia Ruyun lost her motivation and retracted her words?
Sliding back into her chair, she murmured “Business time,” to herself.
Glasses? Adjusted. Hair? Tied up. Neck? Cracked.
Her other clients were all settled for now.
Xia Ruyun! The world is awaiting your return!
Even if everyone’s forgotten your face...
Gao Qian’s fingers slowed as the thought crossed her mind. She, herself, had also forgotten what Xia Ruyun looked like... And when did she start calling her Xia Ruyun instead of just Ruyun?
Has it already been that long?
Casting her worries into the back of her mind, she sent a few quick messages to Xia Ruyun before spinning in her chair and leaning to the side. Sliding her gray, metal cabinet open with a faint creak, she rifled through the drawer before pulling out a manila folder. She set it aside and typed out one more message.
[Alright, now that we’re doing this, I have a lot of information to give you.]
---
Xia Ruyun’s motivation was throwing a temper tantrum. The cordial conversation with Gao Qian now saddled her with an absolute boatload of work, to the dismay of her motivation. The little gremlin, after peeking its head out for the first time in three years, wanted to return to its cave of inactivity.
Iron-gripping her motivation by the neck, she clenched her leg and used the bolt of pain to force herself out of bed. With her room only illuminated by the light of her phone and laptop, she pulled on a few nearby sweatshirts before slumping into her desk chair. She flicked the switch to her desk lamp and—despite a bad habit of not replacing light bulbs—it buzzed to life.
Now basked in the warm, but still artificial glow of her lamp, Xia Ruyun spent a second staring off into space. Her actions grinded to a halt as the reality of the situation began sinking in.
Well, I have to do the work... backing out now would only make things more awkward...
Before any more thoughts could form, though, a sneeze ripped its way out of Xia Ruyun. Coughing and tearing up, she blew her nose as her gaze settled on the layer of dust lathered over her desk.
Yet, she just sat there in silence for another minute or so, staring off into space. Only after sneezing a couple more times did she drag herself out of the chair, grab a wet wipe, and sit back down with a sigh to clean up the thin layer of dust.
When was my last dusting? A month ago?
The sound of a cheek slap filled the air.
It doesn’t matter... Get working Xia Ruyun! It’s time to start!
Nose was still runny, but who cared about what her nose had to say? Not the patented, trademarked, and copyrighted Xia Ruyun super-genius brain.
Uncapping her pen as it made a sound somewhere between a click and a pop, she cracked open her laptop. As a (former) professional organizer, she scrolled through her text chat with Gao Qian with one hand while pulling out a worn notebook with the other. She flipped past the pages of variegated, but faded, notes. Halfway through the notebook, she passed the legions of sticky notes sticking out from page edges and arrived at the first empty page.
Yet, with her pen primed for action, she felt a wave of lethargy wash back over her.
Heavens...
Gao Qian gave me so much to do. What if I... just didn’t do it?
But then I’d also be letting Gao Qian down.
Guilt washed over her as scenes from the past flashed through her mind. Gao Qian used to have the brightest smile whenever they signed a new deal. Or even just resigned a deal. Or, well, whenever they worked together...
What am I doing?
Her movements began once more—albeit with a new shade of hesitation. Self-loathing tinged her eyes as she powered past the fearful voice slithering around in the back of her mind.
---
Xia Ruyun’s work carried her into the evening. She had started by listing out everything Gao Qian wanted her to do—which didn’t take too long. Familiarize herself with the audition materials, prepare for the audition, get a haircut, catch back up with the entertainment world, and a couple of other miscellaneous items for the agency.
Once she was done writing out the list in her notebook, she went and updated all her information with the agency to cross off a quick item. It was basic stuff, like confirming her mailing address and her bank account information.
After all, as an active ‘talent,’ her basic—or in other terms, ’kind street donations’ level—salary was unfrozen! She was back, baby! Basic income secured!
The next task she undertook—after a fifteen minute staring session with the wall—was the ‘catch back up with the entertainment world’ item on the list. Getting engrossed, though, caused the clock to leap forward to seven in the evening. Reading through the preliminary document sent over by Gao Qian alone had taken an hour! By the document’s end, though, Xia Ruyun’s mind had inundated her with another bag of questions for the internet to answer. The document played an analogous role to the first page of a wiki rabbit hole binge. Every name, every event, and every relationship led to her wanting more information.
There were... a lot of new names. A lot of old names too.
Sure, she had a passing familiarity with most people—she didn’t spend the last three years surfing the internet like a bum for nothing. But learning their current situations, prestige, and whatever other trends or narratives surrounded them was a whole different beast.
Several people skyrocketed in fame, a fair few people faded out from the industry, and there were a whole slew of new faces.
One name in particular leapt out to her though: Li Feiling.
Crowned as the new movie queen, Xia Ruyun was both surprised and... not surprised at Li Feiling’s accomplishments. Stretching and leaning back in her chair, she massaged her eyes with both hands. Even back when Xia Ruyun was still active, she had heard plenty about the up and coming actress. In particular, everyone she worked with highlighted her voracious attitude to learn more.
Plus, she was the darling of the Li-Yuan group, so there weren’t any worries on the monetary side. Add in a good dose of divine beauty, and Li Feiling was destined for greatness.
But three Actress of the Year Phoenix Awards? By age 26? That was wild. Xia Ruyun still remembered Li Feiling’s debut show when they were both 21. Now, though, Li Feiling showed up everywhere. Even the show she was watching yesterday starred her.
No point in thinking about it now though.
Reaching forward, she closed her laptop and turned off the lamp. The notebook could be left open on the desk, but everything else was cleared off and put back into its respective drawer with a series of gentle thumps.
A yawn, though, took Xia Ruyun’s departure from her desk as an opportunity to sneak out of her mouth. Xia Ruyun didn’t mind. Her work for the day was done, the fatigue could come. The bigger question was hunger. Should she return to the half-empty crate of cup noodles sitting on the kitchen stovetop? Dinner before bed?
She was still satiated from lunch though...
Her wandering thoughts led her to the kitchen where a single glance towards the cup noodles was all she needed to know. The mere thought of consuming more cup noodles caused a wave of nausea to wash over her. There was no need to eat.
So... what now?
Weary, she made a half-hearted trip to the bathroom, moved through the motions of her evening routine, and drifted her way back to the bedroom. Kicking off her slippers, she let herself fall forward into bed. Once burrowed back beneath the covers, her breathing settled.
Yet, as the sound of her breathing filled the room, the day’s work, stress, and importance came crashing down onto her mind. Like the ocean’s waves, thoughts accompanied by soul-crushing anxiety battered against her in unceasing fashion.
Almost paralyzed by the overwhelming burden of... reality, Xia Ruyun curled back up as tears welled up in her eyes. Putting on some music to drown out the thoughts, she decided to scrap her internet surfing plans.
She needed sleep...
It might be—it probably would be—fitful, but she needed to escape the world.