The three weeks leading up to the audition disappeared in what felt like a breath. Even though Xia Ruyun wasn’t swamped with work, being busy for the first time in so long was overwhelming. For three years her schedule had been to wake up, eat one—possibly two—meals, do some vocal therapy exercises, and surf the internet. No work, no employment, and no income. The classic tripartite.
Now, however, her life had begun moving once more. It was a time of many... firsts. She had gotten her hair cut by a professional for the first time in years, she had put on makeup for the first time in years, and she was about to attend an audition for the first time in, well, years.
With a bookbag hoisted over her shoulder, she sat by the doorway and put on a pair of sandals. Once done, she kept sitting around a couple of minutes to prepare for the upcoming day. She ticked off each reminder to herself on a separate finger. Pushing herself upright once done, she cracked the door open to face the outside world.
Bright. Blindingly bright.
To obscure her identity, Xia Ruyun slipped on a hat, sunglasses, and mask. It wasn’t necessary anymore, in all honesty, but an abundance of caution couldn’t hurt. By now, she had long faded from the public’s memory. Even more, her appearance had changed. Her eating habits had left her... a tad gaunt to say the least.
She didn’t look that bad, but it was a noticeable change.
Tucking her phone away, she made her way to the elevator, slipped in behind the random housewife, and made it down to the ground level. She didn’t take the elevator much—thanks to the existence of delivery apps, but the elevator hadn’t changed much from what she remembered. It was still a little slow, a little loud, and a little crowded, but she didn’t mind. The suspicious creaks and the even more worrisome stains gave the building character!
Xia Ruyun, though, was pulled out of her world by a stray glance. Worried the housewife had recognized her, she pulled the brim of her hat down. Keeping her eyes to the floor, she slipped out of the elevator like a fish returning to the ocean as soon as the doors cracked open. With the phone in her pocket buzzing from an incoming call, she beelined towards the back parking lot.
One look left. One look right.
A black sedan sat in the back corner of the parking lot. Either it was her ride or it was some... governmental agency?
Deciding to risk it—because government agencies didn’t come to middle-class apartment buildings very often—Xia Ruyun walked over while clutching her bag with both hands.
Once close, though, she let out a sigh of relief as she saw Gao Qian sitting in the driver’s seat. Easing the door open with a gentle click, she plopped into the back seat with a sigh. Now in the car, she unslung her bag and put it onto the seat next to her. With the bag put aside and nothing burdening her body anymore, she melted onto the seat.
Well-practiced in her duties, Gao Qian pulled out of the parking space and exited the lot. Xia Ruyun, though, tilted her head to the side while raising an eyebrow. The crunch of the gravel was much quieter in this car...
Turning her attention to the seat, she ran her hand against the clean black material. Hesitant, she cracked her mouth open. “Gao Qian, you have a nicer car now.”
Gao Qian, herself, suppressed her surprise after Xia Ruyun took the initiative in conversation. Her initial glance at the rearview mirror when Xia Ruyun had entered almost caused her jaw to drop. Xia Ruyun’s hair grew out, face matured, and figure changed. The entire way she held herself was different—there was a faint melancholic hesitation in all her actions.
Now, she started a conversation?
The surprises just kept on coming. Gao Qian took a second to watch as Xia Ruyun began a pensive stare out the window before replying. “Thank you. During the past few years I’ve climbed a fair bit higher in the company. Xia Ruyun, you helped a lot.”
Only getting a nod and a “mn” in response, Gao Qian just shrugged and sighed to herself as a tension-filled silence seeped its way into the car. There was no way to avoid it. The distance between her and Xia Ruyun had grown to a chasm during their time apart.
And... she wasn’t quite sure how to address it.
Refocusing on the road, Gao Qian kept a sliver of her attention on Xia Ruyun through the rearview mirror. She didn’t care what Xia Ruyun did, but she wanted to see the changes in her after three years first-hand.
She expected Ruyun to fidget due to nervousness, but to her credit, she seemed level-headed. Her hands sat still on her lap and her legs stayed crossed without the faintest hint of a jitter. Halfway through the ride to the audition place, Gao Qian saw an ever-familiar notebook come out of Xia Ruyun’s bag.
It was... the same. The beat-up flower vine still curled its way across the cover and the multicolored sticky notes still jutted out from all sides. In Gao Qian’s heart, those sticky notes held an endearing position.
They represented Xia Ruyun’s work, hopes, and tears. Now, seeing them envelop Xia Ruyun’s slender fingers the same way after all these years, Gao Qian felt the flame of hope get stoked in her heart.
Maybe... Xia Ruyun was back in full? Here she was, studying in the car for an audition. She had prepared hard, that much was clear to the naked eye. The fire still smoldered somewhere within her—perhaps only as embers, but it was present nonetheless.
Sipping her coffee with one hand, Gao Qian switched lanes with the other hand. Chaotic traffic defined this part of the city, so she focused in. Readjusting her grip on the steering wheel, she wove through traffic like a salmon fighting its way upriver.
But what if Xia Ruyun wasn’t back?
Management, with firm words, had instructed her to keep a close eye on her. Of course, the primary reason was to attend to her needs—to lure her back into the industry. But they also wanted Gao Qian to ‘check her capabilities.’
She was conflicted. She felt like a traitor with these constant flip-flopping opinions. As a person, a fan, and... a friend, she cared for Xia Ruyun. She wanted her to succeed, to make the comeback she believed she could do.
But the rational, managerial side of her waged a never-ending war. Realistically, pragmatically, and logically, she had to cut Xia Ruyun out of her heart to protect her and the company’s interests...
What a hateful conflict to fester in her heart.
Click. Click. Click. Click.
With the sound of her turn signal filling the car, Gao Qian left the expressway while embroiled in her own thoughts. The capabilities the company wanted her to assess came in two senses of the word. Was Xia Ruyun still capable skill-wise to make it in the industry? The once heralded heaven-sent genius might now be a can of trash.
The more sobering question was if Xia Ruyun had the mental capability to withstand the entertainment industry’s crushing momentum. If Xia Ruyun seemed to have a ‘reasonable’ chance of cracking, the company wanted to wash their hands of Xia Ruyun as an asset.
Sobering...
The coldest sense of the word.
But... if the company does order her termination, it’s not like I’ll spend that much unnecessary effort in resisting it.
After all, she really hasn’t demonstrated much over the past few years.
Even so, part of Gao Qing hoped the order wouldn’t come down.
It’s not like it’s that bad to have her as a talent. During hiatus there’s no work other than checking for auditions every few months. Plus, the company’s not paying her. There’s no burden on the checkbooks.
So why not keep someone with a platform like Xia Ruyun’s? She was still the agency’s most followed actress even after all these years.
But the reality of the industry was harsh, and Gao Qian knew... it might be time to let go. The agency didn’t need a meaningless asset that other talents got compared to. She, herself, didn’t see a point in resisting the industry’s ever-encroaching waves for Xia Ruyun at this point in time.
Gah! And now she was back spiraling around the same conflict to no avail. The two sides of her heart just could. not. shut up.
Shelving her thoughts as she snaked through the local streets, Gao Qian pulled into the audition lot while giving Xia Ruyun a nod. “We’re here. I’ll accompany you for the time being because all my other clients are settled. I’ll only be with you in the main hall though. Like in the old days, managers and assistants are still not allowed to enter the audition room.”